That's Not Very Nice!

sorry

2007-09-29T21:13:00.000-05:00

Hey guys!

Well this post is for all that shall wander past here duribg the blogcrawl.

Last night I managed to get 6 stitches in my lrft hand, and this whole mess has left me one handed, and I am not too happy about it. Well, i have the otherhand still, but moving it in any way is extremely painful. I have pictures to share with you all, of my misfortune. Im not even going to tell you how I managed to do this to myself, I am feeling the stupidity plenty enough, and it was bad enough having to tell the Dr. and 2 nurses at the er how I managed to slash my own finger open like that.

picture is supposed to be here, come back tomorrow, or monday to see

I wanted to participate in this fine event, but as I need two hands to crawl, and would prefer two hands to type my comments all over the place, Iwill have to wish you all a great evening of shenanigans!

you have no idea how long it just took me to peck out this crappy post.....ugh.

have a fun night! Happy birthday Contagion!

He's Back!

2007-09-22T12:40:00.000-05:00

My husband got in from the airport this morning, back from L.A.

Me: So tell us about your journey to a faraway land.

Him: You would never believe the quality of the fabrics and spices....

Me: Hahahaha!!!!

Him: Next time I would like to take a Merchant ship......

Teased Bangs and L.A. Gear......

2007-09-21T21:00:00.000-05:00

Hahahaha!!!

If you were a kid in the 1980's, you will get a kick out of this list....

Or you will get defensive, like I did.

There is nothing wrong with jelly shoes........

YAY!

2007-09-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

It is never too early to start thinking about Halloween costumes!

I just can't get over this one, OR this one. They are just so great!

What a patient dog that is!

(I just realised I ended every sentence here with an exclamation point. I suddenly feel dorky because of how cool I think these costumes are) The punctuation will just have to stay, because yes, the costumes are really that cool!!

Oh Dear....

2007-09-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

So, I was over at Richmonds place the other day, snooping around, lurking if you will.......

And in this post, she makes reference to these "parties" the ladies in her neighborhood have.

I despise those parties. I would rather have oral surgery. I hate everything about them. Hate hate hate.

And here is why:

As a rule, the only reason the "hostess" invited you, is because she wants your money. That's it. You do not become popular coming to these Godforsaken and refusing to buy stuff. They want you to feel obligated to buy large quantities of this junk because everyone else is, therefore it must be awesome products at an awesome price. They try sometimes to make it look good, but all they want is your money, plain and simple.

F that crap. I don't want your overpriced candles. I don't want your kitchen gadgetry, or your spices, or mixes, or your jewelry, or your laundry soap.

I do not respond well to peer pressure. If I sense that I am being played, I push in the opposite direction. Hence, I can proudly say I have NEVER purchased anything from one of these "parties". I have gotten the stuff as gifts, that's fine. I just won't play the game.

One time, many (well not that many actually) moons ago, my Husband and I were invited to a January outdoor bonfire party. Pretty cool deal actually.

As the night progressed, I start noticing all of the gals have disappeared, and all that is left at the fire is the menfolk, and me. Which is fine, as I generally have very little in common with these wives of my husbands co-workers. I'm not what you would call "one of the girls". I am much more of a "one of the guys" types.

So, anyway, as the gals start coming out of the house, back to what I thought was the party, they are saddling up to their husbands, swooning, and hint/begging for the checkbook so they can go back inside and order some jewelry from wife x.

Hahahahaha!!! Suckers. And all the while I sat out by the fire drinking beer and staying out of trouble in my blaze orange insulated hunting suit, while these snobs with their coordinated sweater/headband sets and designer jeans gals had to go inside and warm up, and get ambushed.

Anyway, not sure why my rant went in the direction it did, but if you need me.....

I'll be standing in my driveway, having a beer, looking towards Richmonds house waiting for her to come join me.......

Only In Hollywood Folks........

2007-09-18T12:02:00.000-05:00

Ahhh.

Got vermin?

Better put them on "The Pill."

Only in Hollywood...........

Happy Birthday Uncle Pappy!

2007-09-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

Well, well. Seems it is this time of year again! Time to shower my blogpappy/real world Uncle Harvey with some B00balicious Birthday fun!

All I will say, it it looks like you weren't quite specific enough.

Or were you? Hmm?

Oh, wait...........

Nope.

Hmmm.....Maybe I will just hold the jacket he forgot here at my place a few weeks ago as ransom.......Or be nice and mail it to him........

Hmm, what to do what to do.......

Happy Birthday Perv Extraordinaire

Lame

2007-09-12T17:31:00.000-05:00

Oh, what is the deal with Blogger not wanting me to post links?

Ok, I copied my link from the linky place I wanted to take you, then wrote my post, then highlighted the word where I wanted to stuff the link into, clicked the linky green button deal, got rid of the http:// thing that automatically comes up, put the link in there, and it (blogger) deleted the highlighted word, and put the 'link' in all written, and not a link.

Like this:

Ooh, I normally spare myself the shame of doing cat posts, but this is super cute.

Above is what it did. Is there suddenly a new way to do it, or is the website I linked unlinkable? Or have I suddenly gone retarded?

Lets try linking Harvey:

See, what is that? Lame.

UPDATE: Apparently I am quite retarded, as it clearly worked in its published form, it just looks all crazy and bad prior to being published. Anyway, the cat link is sooooper cute, so take a peek!

--------------------------

2007-09-11T11:54:00.000-05:00

I don't really feel like I will ever be able to write a 9/11 post.

I haven't tried, and I just don't think I will. Something changed in me that day 6 years ago, and I would rather not relive it.

Although to say relive it seems silly, as I have lived with it every day since. I just haven't put it into words.

So today as my flag blows briskly, I am somewhat speechless. As I have been every Sept 11th for the last 6 years.

Still Kickin'

2007-09-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

Quick update:

School started this week, busy, busy.

Got my membership to the local health club yesterday. I expect to look like I did when I was 17 after this is all said and done. I *DO* believe in miracles, don't burst my bubble folks.

Wound up with a sinus headache last night that made for a fretful nights sleep. EVERY BREATH I took felt much like I imagine a knife to the sinuses would feel like, with underlying pain behind my eyes and nose the whole while, and a knot in my neck. Yay for me.

And, it looks like I need to mow the lawn today. Busy, busy.

I Might Cry

2007-08-25T01:51:00.000-05:00

You Are 72% Bitchy

While you may not think of yourself as the ice queen, admit it, you're often in a bad mood.And it's those around you who often bear the brunt of your annoyance, even if they haven't done anything wrong!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howbitchyareyouquiz/">How Bitchy Are You?

Lovely, lovely.

(I stole this from Richmond, and I'm O.K. with that.)

Whew, indeed I expetced better than a 'C' in Bitchy Class.

MUST DO BETTER!! WILL WORK HARDER AT BITCHYNESS!!

Now, who can I yell at........

"Completely Harmless"

2007-08-22T16:05:00.000-05:00

Well, apparently my son is on a quest to 'disprove' the "Completely Harmless" feature of the awesome Potato gun.

(See Post Below)

I'm going to be really ticked off if I have to take one of the cats to the vet because of rotting potato pellets in the ear.

And before you even think of it, YES, my cats adore my son, and pretty much let him do anything he wants to them. Which is the big problem. They don't have the sense to get outta the way. They just don't care. In fact they purr and lay down in order to be used as target practice.

Now, if I could only get the cats to wear little helmets, or at the very least shower caps to deflect from their funnel-like ears.........

Here's a Tater, Now Go Outside With that

2007-08-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

I just have to tell you all (all 6 of you, I know....) about this cool toy my son got at the local county fair.

For $3.00.

And it came with one free potato.

A Potato Gun. It shoots harmless Potato Pellets (says the package).

Completely Harmless, Never wears Out, Sturdy construction, 300 shots from one potato (Also says the package)

You just jam the end of the gun into a potato, and break off in a downward motion and the gun is loaded! More than 300 shots from one potato!

And the coolest part of all.......SHOOTS 50 FEET!! Yes, folks, it does.

I am truly impressed. it is not often that you can hand a 6 year old a potato, and tell them to go have fun.

Great.

2007-08-18T02:08:00.000-05:00

Well, they are here.

After last time, he said it would never happen again.

Harvey and TNT rolled up----TNT, fresh as a daisy, pops out of the drivers seat--HI GUYS!!

Harvey, on the other hand, opens the passenger door, drunk as a skunk-Beer cans spilling out onto my driveway, and I'm all like "Harvey, WHAT THE HELL????" As he starts kicking the cans under the car....

"DAMN HARV---GET IN THE F**KING HOUSE, YOU ARE A MESS"

And he is all like "What the hell, whatever, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!" In a screechy womany voice.

Goddamn, here we go again.

My Favorite Invention (Today, Not of All Time)

2007-08-17T23:01:00.000-05:00

The glorious Tilt-A-Whirl.

Yay for Tilt-A-Whirls!!!

Both tilt, AND whirl, in one rusty, squeaky unit.

A masterpiece!!

(Yes, I went to the fair)

Yay!

Papersackery (NEW WORD I MADE UP)

2007-08-10T23:31:00.000-05:00

Here is a rant for ya.

Do grocery stores train their employees how to properly pack a paper sack? The zombified teens I have had encounters with do a crappy-ass job of stuffing groceries in a plastic bag, but....THE HORROR...when you ask for paper, they are almost offended, and can't hardly do it. It's like I just asked them to grease up my wagon wheel, or skin a frickin' squirrel or something. This is not so tricky kids, if you pay one bit of attention to the task at hand, which is bagging the groceries in a somewhat sensible manner. Now, this is what I purchased this evening:

1 Freshetta frozen pizza

1 sack of tortilla chips

1 12 pk of Diet Pepsi

3 packages of brats, (on sale for $2.79, good deal)

2 16 pack packages of corn dogs (also on sale for $3.99, good deal)

1 5# sack of taters

4 packages of cheese singles ($0.99 each, WAY good deal)

and a 2 pack of frozen pie crusts.

The "Bag Boy" packs the first bag: Pizza, 2 large boxes of corn dogs, AND on top, the sack of potatoes. The handles can no longer be brought together to be held with one hand, and it weighs 82 lbs.

second bag: brats, cheese, and the pie crusts put in the short way, not the long way (I don't know how else to explain it), so that when you grab the sack by the handles, it compromises the shape of the item and makes cracks and crap so the pie will suck. That is all for that bag.

third bag: chips. That's it. I am surprised he did not try to put the 12 pk of pop in with the chips to make chip dust.

I know it can be hard, kids, but a little bit of pride in your work would be good. I mean, I would rather bag my own groceries than deal with the "convenience" of your unskilled bagmanship. It's not a convenience, it's a pain in the ass.

Please, PLEASE go home and practice with your Mom in the kitchen with her groceries, she will show you how it's done. Because back in the day, all there was was paper bags, and you had to do it right or the old ladies would raise hell and get your boss involved for sucking at your job. Back then you even had to smile. And mean it. AND......GASP!!!!......employees used to have to tuck their shirts in! You think I'm pulling your leg, by seriously, it's true!

Anyway, I am suspecting that stores do not train their employees in the fine art of papersackery.

Good Good Stuff!

2007-08-09T18:30:00.000-05:00

I had to chuckle at this one.

You know the people, everyone knows someone who is "caffeine sensitive". Good stuff, hope you like!

One of Those Weeks Already

2007-08-07T15:33:00.001-05:00

Oh Boy.........

Anyone out there know how to remove glitter silly putty from a bath towel?

Cranky Times, and Sunshine Skys

2007-07-24T13:11:00.000-05:00

Ahk. Its hotter than crap here with high humidity. I don't know what the deal is, but when the weather is like that, it just takes what little energy, ambition, everything, right out of me. Sheesh, I feel like I need a nap all the time. I hate hiding in the A/C here in the house, I love spending the day outside, but cripes, I can't take it anymore.

So today shall be spent watching Star Wars with the boy and getting some laundry and things done, so I suppose it won't be a total loss.

And we seriously need some rain, I am sick of hiking hoses all over the yard watering the gardens.

(I think the heat has made me a tad bit cranky.....)

E-Z-Peezie

2007-07-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

Woo-hoo!!

The first zucchini of the year is in my kitchen! Somebody is making muffins today...mmm....drool.......

(This is the first year I have grown my own zucchini, what a fool, this is the easiest veggie I have ever grown.)

Not So Much Raccoons, Huh?

2007-07-18T18:49:00.000-05:00

Now, I can't help but find Contagions problem with the homeless digging through his garbage HILARIOUS. Hilarious mostly because it's not my trash strewn all over the neighborhood, it's someone elses. However, not to worry, I have suggestions:

Nothing stinks up faster or more vile than raw chicken skins. And a little goes a loooong way my friend. Save up your cans in a grocery bag till it's full. Then have a chicken dinner (reserving skins) Take said skins, and with a sharp knife, chop into quarter sized pieces (remember, a little goes a long way) and insert a piece or two into each can. In the summer it only takes a day, sometimes two, for that skin to emit the most foul stench imaginable. Make sure these cans are in an opaque bag *next to* your real garbage. Maybe the homeless fellas will take the bag and leave the rest of the trash alone, or they will take the bag without opening it, and still rip into your garbage, but I doubt it. My guess is they will take the bag and keep on walkin'. And find out later about the surprise.

If that doesn't work, well, I'd keep a jar of Vaseline next to the garbage can in the house, and give each can a good swipe before throwing it away. The homeless are a tough crowd though, so I don't know what it takes to gross them out enough to leave a can alone because it is too gross. They would certainly be earning their can money though.

Hmmm......
You could pee a little in every can, that would be gross.

You could take the bag of garbage from the house to the garage, pee in the bag real good, then quick get it outside and tie it up, that's gross too. Especially after a couple of good hot days in the sun. Yeah, toss in some chicken skins in there for good measure. That bag'll be ready to burst all on its own. ;-)

Or you could calmly and warmly go out there and have a chat with them, something like this:

"Hey there Fellas, I see you are hard at work this fine morning, say, I was wondering if you could be a little more careful when you dig through my trash. I have noticed that you accidentally must have torn the side of the bag open coming through here with your cart, before you had a chance to carefully untie the top of the bag to get at my cans. I'd be happy to keep a roll of duct tape for you right here if that ever happens again, so you can tape the side of the bag shut to avoid the mess an accident like that makes. Thanks, Fellas, keep up the good work!!"

Yeah RIGHT........:-) Chicken skins dude, chicken skins and piss.

Fire the Secretary

2007-07-17T11:27:00.000-05:00

Well isn't this just about how things go. DH kindly took the last Diet Pepsi in the house this morning, Shorty claims I will be fine with his sour green apple spiderman pop (gross stuff BTW), I can tell you I will not be fine. If I fire up a pot of coffee, I will drink it all (that's just how it goes with me), and be too wired to do anything but twitch. Which means I finally have to do my list of errands that should have been done yesterday, but due to my slacking, err, I mean schedule, still are yet to be done.

Dang. I should fire the secretary.

Always Something 1/2 Done

2007-07-16T19:57:00.000-05:00

Well, I had an eventful weekend. I ended up getting 2 of the 4 porch chairs painted, 49 Rose of Sharon bushes planted, my Husband measured and ran string all over the yard from where the surveyor marked off last week, hauled railroad ties all over the yard as we are making a corral for the driveway, but before we did that, my Husband used a laser level and got the ties level and straight (in every way I tell you), and rock will be coming this week. 10 yards or rock in fact, that we will be spreading by hand. That ought to be good. And we are still only 1/2 done with planting the bushes, there is still 50 more to plant. Oh, we also watched the movie JFK, with Kevin Costner, good movie.

Today, however, I didn't do diddly-squat. Unless you count the water balloon fight I had with my son. Which was awesome. Oh, and did some gardening. Oh, and watered 49 bushes. And the front garden. Somehow I am still tired.

Pesky Painting

2007-07-14T12:38:00.000-05:00

I am supposed to be painting my porch chairs right now, shhhhhh..........

I painted one of them and it took 45 minutes. For the first coat. And there are 4. So, 4 chairs at 45 minutes per coat (it'll take at least 2 coats), nevermind, I'm not going to do the math. Oohh, I think it's lunchtime!

:-)

Hi All!

2007-07-13T11:47:00.000-05:00

YAY, Back on the blogroll!! It's off the back of the milk carton for me!! (Thanks Harvey)

I'm a little slow on the boat, and I'm sure you all already know, but it's AWTM's Birthday today, and Tammi is hosting a scrumptious party at her place, so if you haven't done so already, wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Oh, and don't forget to bring a dish to pass! Here is mine:

Netty Irene's Macaroni & Cheese

4 Cups cooked elbow macaroni
1 cup grated or chunked cheddar cheese
3 eggs
1 cup Carnation evaporated milk
10 bacon strips
Pepper

Ok, so, blend the eggs and milk together and pour it onto the macaroni already in a glass baking dish (I forget exactly what size pan, I do remember that cake size is too big). Now, put in the cheese and poke it around until thoroughly mixed. Salt to taste. Then put on a good covering of pepper. Place bacon slices on top (I found 10 to be a bit much, as all of the bacon grease runs down into the noodles, so I only use 5, and it's very tasty, not greasy like you would think). Bake at 350 degrees till there is a good crust on top, and has hardened a little, usually 30-40 mins.

Darn good side dish!

Happy Birthday!

Boo.

2007-07-12T16:20:00.000-05:00

I wonder how a person gets back in the loop.......

I have been expelled from the Bad Example Family. :-(

Maybe its because I didn't post for oh, like, 8 months, what do you think?

Sheesh.........I'm going to go mope in the corner till Harvey re-adopts me.

mope

mope

*sniffle*

*sigh*

mope

YES.

2007-07-12T12:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I went on a much needed vacation, swam in a crystal clear creek in Missouri, ate me some fried catfish, saw my first copperhead snake, got devoured by chiggers from the knees down, burned my hand lighting fireworks, and drank for 8 days straight.

BEST VACATION YET.

Maytag Wringer Washer - How To Operate

2007-06-19T00:23:00.000-05:00

(I had my Husband write these detailed instructions for operating this machine because apparently there is next to nothing on the net as to the use of these dinosaurs, so here it is folks!)

How to operate the Maytag model # E2L

Washing

Fill with water & detergent.

Add clothes.

Plug in - There is no on/off switch...if it is plugged in, the motor is running.

Pull chrome knob on the front out - This engages the agitator. (If you haven't closed the lid yet, you might get wet).

OUT

Wait 10-15 minutes.

Push knob back in to disengage the agitator.

Drain washer – Lift the hose end out if its retainer and let water run out.

DRAIN

Wringing

Rotate the wringer to a comfortable position by rotating lever so it is pointing away from the rollers.

LEVER ROTATED

Once the wringer section is in place, rotate the lever so it is pointing towards the wringer again. This will lock it in place.

There is a metal flap underneath the wringer that directs the water back into the washer. Make sure this set so the water goes into the washer and not all over the floor.

Rotate lever away from you about 20 degrees. This will start the rollers.

ROLLERS ENGAGED

Send your soapy clothes through the wringer.

If you need to stop the rollers, simply move the lever so it is pointing back towards the rollers.

ROLLERS STOPPED

If you need to make the rollers go the other way, rotate the lever the other way about 20 degrees.

ROLLERS REVERSED

NOTE: There are 2 main things you need to know about the about the wringer:

Make sure you do not get anything you don’t want wrung out caught in the rollers (like your fingers). There are exactly zero safety devices on this machine.

It takes a second or two for the rollers to start moving after you move the lever.

Rinsing

Now that your clothes have been washed, they now need to be rinsed.

Full the tub back up with water (and liquid fabric softener if desired).

Put the previously wrung clothes back in the tub.

Start the agitator.

Wait about 5 minutes or so.

Drain the rinse water.

Run the clothes through the wringer.

Repeat rinse as necessary.

Troubles

Clogged Drain

You may end up with a clogged drain. The agitator is removable and underneath is the drain hole. This hole can be cleaned out with about anything.

Remove the agitator. It is in there pretty firmly, so you will have to pull kind of hard.

AGITATOR

AGITATOR REMOVED

Remove clog.

DRAIN HOLE GETTING CLEANED OUT WITH A STICK

Reinstall the agitator. It will go in about as hard as it came out. Make sure it is seated all the way.

Items Wrapped Around The Roller

A small item (like a sock) may get hopelessly wrapped around one to the rollers. The wringer is actually 2 sections (upper roller and lower roller). These sections can be easily seperated.

Push the ‘PRESS TO RELEASE’ bar in front of the upper roller. Mine is red, yours may be a different color.

PRESS TO RELEASE

Rotate the bar on the top of the wringer to release the upper section.

RELEASE THE UPPER SECTION

Lift the upper section and swing out of the way (it does not come completely off).

LIFTING UPPER SECTION

You can now remove the lower roller to untangle whatever got caught in there (hopefully it wasn’t your arm).

LIFT END OF ROLLER TO REMOVE

Once everything is untangled, reassemble the wringer.

You will need to make sure the little peg hanging down on the upper section is in the mating hole in the lower section

START PEG INTO HOLE

Once the upper section is back in place, rotate the bar to lock the upper section. Make sure it is fully locked into place. There should not be a gap between the two sections.

WHERE TO LOOK FOR THE GAP

GAP

NO GAP

Once the upper section is locked down, move the bar back so it does not get in the way.

The End

Yes Harvey, It Does Cats Too......

2007-06-19T00:19:00.000-05:00

Meet Gretta The Cat!

Maytag Magic!

2007-06-15T00:26:00.000-05:00

So here goes....

3 weeks ago my dryer broke and I thought it was the end of the world. Ended up using the neighbors clothesline for 2 days while my Husband bought new roller dealies from Sears.

On Tuesday my washing machine tanked, and would spin no more (no agitate, no spin cycle), BUT ALAS!!!!! I was saved by the emergency spare!! Hubbys 1950--something Maytage Wringer washer in the corner of the basement!

Ah the joy........So, out came the elbow grease.......

The Beast is really not that bad! Well, compared to washing clothes the really hard way in the bathtub (Which I have done, way back when we were poooooor and in college living in a way too expensive apartment and had no business being out on our own), anyway, it's actually very simple:

Fill washtub with water from somewhere (I hooked some old heater hose from an ambulance to my shower in the basement, worked awesome, yeah, don't ask....) and add detergent while filling, also add clothes while filling. Stand and wait a while for it to fill up, and when it does, plug The Beast in. There is no switch, if t is plugged in, it is ON, that's how it was designed. Now, the motor is running, but not agitating, so pull large chrome knob on the front of The Beast out all the way. Stand back as you clothes get the everloving crap beat out of them by the innocent looking agitator, quick, shut the lid so you don't get wet. Wait a while (like 10 to 15 minutes, you should really set a timer)

OK, now, the washing is done, push that chrome knob back in all the way. Pull the hose down that is hooked to the side of the machine to drain the water, gravity style. This takes bit as you wait for gravity to do its thing. Wait...wait...While you wait, you can begin with the wringer portion.

Now, here is where the hazards of being tossed back 60 years come in. This thing will KILL, MAME, and DESTROY those who are not careful. I am soo not kidding. So you have this obvious wringer in front of you, with a lever that is perpendicular with the mechanism. If you push the lever one "click" away from you, it pulls the clothes AWAY from you, and if you pull the lever towards you, it will reverse, and whatever you feed it from the back will come towards you. (good to know for when it eats a bra, and you have to maneuver it out without loosing an arm in the process), also handy to know what to do if you get your finger accidentally rolled into this monster.

So, your washtub is emptied , and you begin to pull each item from the tub and feed it thru the wringer, and catch it on the other side. Kinda fun at first, but gets old as your shoulders start to protest because of how long this takes. Every sock, each little item goes through that wringer at least twice and gets thrown in a heap on the big aluminum lid (or basket if you want to be all fancy about things), till you are done. NOW, start filling washer with water again, and add liquid softener now if you use it. Pitch the clothes right back in there and wait for it to fill with your cold water rinse. Once it is filled again, pull giant chrome knob out all the way, and make sure the lid is shut, or you'll get wet. Stand there for about 5 minutes (or have a cigarette). Wring them all again after draining water, and take care to get all of the water out of them that you can, for your dryers sake. It might take 3 or 4 times per item through the wringer till they are satisfactory. Put the lever on the wringer back to its perpendicular position, and unplug The Beast. Congrats!! You are almost done!!

Angrily throw clothes in dryer and walk away.

Wait about 1/2 hour, (tend to the children, whatever), and begin process all over again. If using a clothesline, do not wait 1/2 hour, do not unplug, just spray out the washtub (to remove softener residue or lint), and begin with next load.

Thursday evening I had a new Whirlpool washer in place of the derelict broken one.

I will say that I am glad to have the Maytag Wringer Washer as a reserve. It does a great job cleaning the clothes (I DO NOT recommend it for dedicates), and it sure as hell beats the laundromat. Yes, it is harder work, but hard work never killed anyone.

So, thats pretty much the drama for my week!! :-)

It Doean't Take a High Caliber To Eliminate A Opossum...

2007-05-25T02:24:00.000-05:00

OK, guys, I'm about to start posting again, just out of SPITE......

Oppossum comments will be deleted at once...(yes Harvey)

Geez, a gal leaves for a bit, and all hell breaks loose......

Finding Out The Hard Way

2006-08-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

Ahhh.

A great mystery was solved today, but I didn't really know it was a mystery in the first place, so it was more like a mystery/surprise. Wow. That was a mouthful right there.......

So, the mighty Shorty is five years old now-a-days, and doing many things himself, and most of the time willingly. So, last night when he was griping about being thirsty, I told him there was still a glass of milk in the fridge from earlier, or he could crack open a juice bag and have that. So, he disappears into the house (we were on the porch at the time) only to emerge about 15 minutes later still trying to mooch pop from me. So, I said "We are not going to argue about this anymore! You go drink the stuff you already have!" And I got this weird blank stare. Accompanied by a uncomfortable pause.

"But Mommy, what I really am thirsty for is Diet Pepsi, because I really like it so much. I'm going to share your Diet Pepsi."

"No! Go drink your own stuff!"

"I drank my juice already. Now I'm thirsty for Diet Pepsi because it is good."

Sure enough, the juice bag is gone from the fridge, so I share my pop with him, never figuring I would question the prior sequence of events. Till this morning I see the juice bag in the garbage with a slit cut in the side of it, with the tiny straw coming out of this peculiar slit.

(ME) "Hey Shorty, is this how you opened the juice bag?"

(Shorty) "Yes."

(ME) "How well did that work? Did it make a mess?"

(Shorty) "Yeaaaaaah Mommy, but...........I cleaned it all up. Don't worry."

*uncomfortable pause*

(ME) "Where did the mess happen?"
(Scared shitless now for fear there is an entire juice bags worth of juice under a rug somewhere)

(Shorty) "Oh, on the coffee table, and I used lots of napkins, and then I used the hair dryer too."

(Me) "Why did you use the hair dryer?" (Trying my best to sound casual as to not scare him)

(Shorty) "Weeeeellllll.....Because there was just sooooo much juice."

(Me) "How did the hair dryer work out for you? Did it clean up the mess?"

(Shorty) "Not reallllly.....but sortof ok kinda."

(ME) "Huh. Next time there is a big spill are you going to find more napkins or paper towels or an adult instead of using the the hair dryer?"

(Shorty) "Yeah. (Insert pause here) It just didn't clean it good."

(ME) "I'll bet it didn't. I'm glad you told me about that so I don't try to clean juice with a hair dryer. It'll save me the trouble of finding out the hard way, huh?"

(Shorty) "You're welcome."

YOU'RE WELCOME??

You can never underestimate a five year old. And the hair dryer is getting locked up. It is hard to get seriously angry about this. Ack, kids.......

Barrel of Monkeys

2006-08-18T15:05:00.000-05:00

Now, I have to thank TIG from Drunken Wisdom for his dryer ridin' story he shared today. It reminded me of my own tale to tell...

It was a dark and stormy Thursday night long long ago (it really was). My future Husband (we didn't start dating till like 3 years later) and I went with his mom on her weekly adventure to the local laundro-mat, since they were new to town and were renting till they bought a house. Now, you get a couple of 14 year olds bored, and things just happen.

After being there for about an hour or so, we had gotten bored, and in the historic nature of kids that age, that is not a very good thing. So as his mother which we shall call "Tough Cookie" throughout this story. Because she tries soooo hard to be a tough cookie, but it almost never works out for her. Still doesn't to this day. Anyway, since it has always been highly entertaining to try and upset her.....wait...it still is....anyway...

So as she had her back turned folding a fresh load of laundry, fast as a flash my future husband was in a dryer. As we noticed the roominess of the luxury machine, he urged me to come in there and join him. So since the dryer was already half-occupied, it took a bit for me to fold myself up and get on in there. Kids are persistent however, and the two of us were crammed in there like a couple of hostages in the trunk of an economy car. One of us was able to reach out and get the dryer door/window almost closed, and then things got started. We coordinated our mass to get the dryer tub unwillingly rocking back and forth, in a vain attempt to get the machine to actually spin. We were in there sweating like a couple of hobos, and giggling like little girls when all of a sudden who do we see in the window......

Tough Cookie. Hands on the hips, lips pursed, breathing heavy, just standing there looking at this freak show in progress. But her eyes, oh the EYES DON'T LIE!! We made her day.

Then of course we had to try and get out of this thing (which is harder than getting in when it is two people in there) because it is just like trying to pull one monkey out of a barrel of monkeys. All tangled up we were. I asked for assistance from her, and her reply was "You two delinquents got yourselves into that mess, you can figure out how to get yourselves out". Thanks Tough Cookie. Then we got the "I can't take the two of you anywhere" speech, to which we both wholeheartedly agreed with her. Which didn't help any.

And without any other proper supervision for us, (Yes we really did need supervision) the very next week she took us right back to the laundro-mat to reek more havoc.

And the very next week there was a OUT OF ORDER sign stuck to our dryer. We have NO IDEA why.

What In The World!?!?

2006-08-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

OK, so we still have the little kittens here, all 4 of the fuzzy guys. I have been working on getting them tame, and it is working great! Most of them have been letting me pet them all over their bodies, only while they eat, and they come when I call for them. Now I need to somehow get them to actually want me to pet them instead of them just putting up with me because they really, really want to eat. Any ideas on that, please let me know.......

So, last night I was cleaning out a room in the basement, and went outside to throw some icky boxes outside, when I see this big yellow man cat (we have seen this fella before) wandering through the neighbors garden, with the kittens in tow!! They were all tails up happy, and following him around all single file while they took their garden adventure. What is up with that?!? I am certain that this cat is a male, and what on earth would possess him to take interest in these kittens? I am simply amazed. Crazy.

I am certainly glad that they have a "mentor". Maybe there is a underground "Big Brother Program" for cats? Maybe the yellow cat is slightly genderly confused? Maybe the yellow cat isn't a boy at all, and what I saw is actually pollen buildup on his butt from hunting so much in gardens, and it's a girl cat after all? Well maybe. Come on folks, MAYBE?

Vrooom.....

2006-08-03T10:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm pretty excited! I'm off on a adventure to visit some good folks. I have never driven this far away all by myself, this should be fun. Shorty likes listening to music really loud in the car and wants me to sing every song, but I don't know the words to every song and that brings him great irritation. He especially likes one of the new Red Hot Chili Peppers songs, and I have to agree, It is pretty jivey. Even though I don't know all of the words yet.

Now I have to find my maps, and throw some clothes in a bag and grab my beer (not to drink in the car, duh, for when I get there) , and I'll be off! Vrooom...

Pack of Brats

2006-07-20T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yup, I'm out from my rock for a moment again.....wow! It's bright out here!

Some of you may remember that we had a cat named Charlie who lived outside, and in the garage. Well around the 4th of July he went missing. Along with his lady friend who had been lurking around the yard with him and eating his food WITH HIM, yes both heads in the bowl at the same time! Crazy stuff right there, anyway...

So Charlies friend (we will call here Mama, because she had a pack of her kittens eating Charlies food too) disappeared with Charlie, and left her tribe at our house. Now this is all fine and dandy, however, these cats are scared of people and we have never been able to get closer than about 15 feet. We have felt bad for them since Mama and Charlie took off (for Vegas presumably) and been feeding them the remainder of Charlies food. Now we wouldn't be doing this except for the fact that these are some of the healthiest kittens I have ever seen. Mama really took good care of them while she was here, and it's just a shame to see them go hungry. Yup, I am a sucker for baby animals. So I am going to try and tame them the rest of the summer, and hope to get them to an animal shelter before winter so they can make someone happy.

Point of this rambling, I don't know, just saying that it sure is a coincidence that Charlie and Mama left at the same time (for Vegas I assume) and now I have 4 outside cats to feed instead of Charlie. Thanks Charlie for dragging home your woman with her pack of brats. Way to go. We thought this wouldn't happen because you are a boy cat. Hmmm...... Times really ARE changin'.

Hi!

2006-07-17T14:32:00.000-05:00

Summer is treating me well. I have not had this much fun since I was a kid, seriously. In high school a friend and I went fishing nearly every day for 2 summers, and I never realized how much I missed it. So my friend bought a fancy pants boat this year and was so kind as to invite me to go fishing. Oh what fun! And BEER!! I have never drank as much beer in my life as I have drank this summer, and wow I have certainly wasted many a precious beer drinking years. And fishing years. I feel foolish indeed. Oh well, I'll just have to make up for it. That is if people will still drink with me. Actually, it's probably not that bad, I just tend to be hard on myself and get all self conscious about my behavior. Whatever, they can just deal with me and my shenanigans.

So that is why I have not posted in a good long while. Way too busy having fun, painting the house, and relaxing on the porch. Oh, and also reading books. I just can't get enough reading in. I am what one might call 'an addict of the written word' I just can't bring myself to fester on the computer too much lately. And that is GOOD. Very good.

I feel more and more like myself everyday, back to being my own person, not just a mother and wife, but ME again. I find it invigorating, to say the least. Most refreshing. Things need to stay this way. Sounds lame writing it, but I am, for the most part, happy again, and it feels good.

Predatory Creatures Dwelling in the Bedroom....

2006-05-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

Johnny - Oh made me think of a funny story with the comment he made on the last post.....

I have a cousin much younger than me, he is the boy half of a pair of twins. He did not sleep a night of his life in his own bed till he was 11. He had his own room just like the rest of the kids in their house (4 kids) but would not sleep in there. My Aunt and Uncle apparently didn't have the heart to put the smack down on the situation till he was about 8 years old.....

The solution they settled on was that the child could sleep in the same room, just not on the bed anymore, so he slept on a rug. On the floor. Next to their bed. Ugg. However it may be the right solution for my cats. We shall see about that one.

So, whos fault is it that I got my foot brutally attacked by my cat while I was sleeping? Yes, I am aware of it being my own fault for having predatory creaatures sleeping on my bed. But they were so cute and harmless when they were the size of softballs........

Oh, and the .45 is WAAAAY too messy.

Sally "The Crippler" Strikes Again....

2006-05-10T17:53:00.000-05:00

I was brutally assaulted last night. No, I'm absolutely serious. Here is the scoop:

I went to bed as normal, everything was fine, I was cozy. Fell asleep almost immediately. I woke at 4:16am, and I was way too warm. So I moved the blanket and put my one leg on top of the blankets and all was good. I did take notice that Fat Sally (my 20 lb fat man cat) was sleeping and my foot was touching him. Mmmmm...foot cozily resting against cat blubber......

Then suddenly I woke to my foot being attacked. But not the nice playful way. Apparently since normally there isn't a foot touching him he got startled, I dunno...anyway... He managed to tear open the side of my pinkie toe, and scratch me from the bottom of my heel all the way to my ankle. Now, the ankle scratch is no big deal, but the the toe got cut into the meat. And the blood, oh dear god the blood. So I wrapped it up in tissue and hobbled to the bathroom to see what the heck I should do. What I should have done was go and get some stitches, but instead I wiped up the mess, tore open an alcohol pad-wipe-thingie and scrubbed the wound. Son-of-a-gun that sucks. But you have to clean cat scratches right away because cats are germy. Then got a finger bandage and wrapped it up and went to bed.

Lesson learned: Reach down where the cats sleep on the bed with a stick and secure the area prior to putting leg on top of blankets.

Some of you may have other suggestions for my cat troubles, and if it involves a brick, a river, a pillowcase, a .22, or a dog, I don't want to hear it.....

Out From The Rock...

2006-05-03T19:04:00.000-05:00

I'm back to annoy and disturb.....

I Couldn't Help It........

2006-05-03T01:37:00.000-05:00

Well I guess I have been gone awhile. Quite a long time in fact in the land of blogs, so here is what happened:

I was minding my own business on March 30th, walking out to the garage, when all of a sudden I was approached by 17, YES 17 ferel cats. One thing led to another, and I was carried by these mighty beasts to a stolen UPS truck waiting in the alley.

Once in this truck, I was tied up by them with purple yarn they stole in the night from the local nursing home, and driven to the local wal-smart. There is where I met my doom. Ordered by the cat leader "Snaggletooth", I was sent to the store to purchase 2 carts of dry meow mix, 1 cart of cans of salmon canned food, and another cart of coffee creamer from the dairy case.

The bill came to a healthy $420.82. So I put it on my visa card as Snaggletooth had advised earlier, as I usually have about $4.50 on me at any given time. I proceeded to drive these many carts out to the parking lot, back to the stolen ups truck, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.........

Dogs. Lots of big, big DOGS everywhere! So there was my chance to escape from my captors!!

I ran home, and to my surprise, sitting at my kitchen table was Bob Sagett! So I said "Get out of my kitchen, I hated you on Funniest Videos!!" And he said "Get back to Snaggletooth and the gang." Damn. Bob Sagett foiled my safe return.

So, back to the van I go, with a stick to scare the dogs away. Snaggletooth has now decided that since I have thumbs, I am quite a valuable hostage, and puts me to work.

So I have spent over a month fishing down by the river, catching fresh fish for a ups truck full of dangerous, ferel cats.

Uhhh....SERIOUS!! Well maybe I was just doing lots, and lots of other stuff.

It is Not a Favor

2006-03-29T22:19:00.000-06:00

Mentally exhausted.

I am mentally exhausted from having company from noon on Friday till yesterday afternoon. I don't know what it is, but when you have people in your house for that long that expect to be entertained (my parents), and move all of your crap around, it just gets old. When I walk into my own living room and sit down to smoke, there had better be an ashtray by the chair. It is not a favor to take all of the ashtrays from where they are and wash them and leave them all in the kitchen. Not a favor. Pisses me off quite a bit.

It is not a favor to MOVE ALL OF OUR SHOES to places that we don't normally put shoes.

It is not a favor to have someone (my dad) stick their head into our bedroom and say "pssssttttttt......" because the alarm is going off in the morning. Go away dad.

Today has been peaceful and quiet. Quiet and peaceful. Mmmmm. Also, my husband is off on another trip, so I have the place to myself. Well, Shorty too. The headache that started on Sunday is almost gone!! Wahoo!

Tomorrow Will Be a Breeze

2006-03-23T23:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I am so burned out from cleaning. Seriously, I even washed all of my potholders, cleaned the fridge, the cabinet doors, the microwave, all the curtains and tablecloths in the kitchen and dining room, along with all the 'normal' cleaning. Plus took Shorty to school, picked him back up, went to teacher conferences, and cooked dinner. I'm running myself ragged, but it sure feels good to get some of this stuff done.

None of those things are hard to do, but they need to get done, and remembering is the hardest thing sometimes. You just don't always think to clean some stuff till you go in a drawer and see that all of the potholders have some stain, or chunk of crusty mess on them. Then you go on a hunt for stuff to do. For instance, I washed all of my ice cube trays. Why? You ask....Because they had these grodey-looking half sized shriveled up ice cubes in them from 2 months ago in them. Yuck. I just keep finding stuff like that. And it is refreshing to take care of some of this stupid crap, stupid as it may be.

And of course, I got the laundry caught up, again, thankfully.

Tomorrow will be a breeze after today...

Holy Crap.

2006-03-22T09:48:00.000-06:00

I have been so busy it's not funny.

I have In-Laws coming on Friday till Sunday night, and then my folks are coming on Sunday night till I don't know when, because I may have jury duty next week.

So that means I have to get this place in order. All the laundry done, everything in order. It is different when you have guests when you are home because if they ask for a towel, you just go get one for them. But when you have to go somewhere, and they are here alone, they have to open the linen closet door and see the disastrous mess. So when I say I have to get things in order, I'm not kidding. Everything in order.

So blogging must take the backburner for a spell, as I whip this place into shape.

YAY!

2006-03-17T13:34:00.000-06:00

Hubby is safe and sound from his trip. I picked him up last night, and his flight was a bit (2 hours) late. My bladder could not hold out the whole time I was waiting outside the airport, so I parked. Good thing too, as we did not arrive home till 3am. There would have been a wet seat, and a shamed woman had I not found a bathroom.

"Welcome home honey!! I wet my pants!" *shudder* Anyway....

I have not been inside the airport since I was 13 or so, so it was kinda fun. Shorty had a good time riding up and down the escalator with me, and playing with another little boy who was waiting as well.

And yes, airport security is kind of a joke. For the first hour I was there, the 2 security people in the baggage claim area just stood there and visited. There was very little they could see from where they were, and it bothered me a little. Not because I felt like I was in danger or anything, only because I assumed the security would be a bit more substantial. Maybe security is more impressive in the rest of the airport, I don't know.

Anyway, I am glad hubby is home again, and he took today off of work. Yay!

Happy Friday!

I Love TV on DVD

2006-03-16T16:27:00.000-06:00

My buddy Ross lent us the first 12 episodes of Deadwood a couple of weeks ago, and I have to say, this show kicks ass! I love it! (Hey, I don't have cable so this is the first I have seen of it). There is more cussing in this show than I have ever heard in my life, and they use the phrase 'co**sucker' a bit much, but whatever. I have been staying up late watching it, and getting schooled in the fine art of swearing. Anyway, it's AWESOME.

(It is not appropriate for children in any way, shape, or form.)

Rant

2006-03-15T10:47:00.000-06:00

I am going to go on a little rant. My mom really hurt my feelings this weekend, and I have to write it.

We were in the car, and I was trying to talk to her about how I have been thinking about what my next career would be as soon as Shorty goes to school full time. It is something I have been mulling over for quite some time. And as a major life decision, I was trying to share my feelings, and options with her.

I should know better than to discuss matters of finance, and carriers with a woman who has no grasp of the value of the dollar, and has not been employed for over 30 years. I should.

It hurts when nobody wants to listen. It hurts when you get ignored. It hurts when someone refuses to listen, when you desperately want them to hear you. It hurts when someone treats you like a mindless dolt.

I have never failed at anything I ever pursued. If I set out to do something, it happens. I am also very realistic. I don't set myself up for failure. I have self confidence issues, and I know why. When ones mother does not have the faith that I can do well for myself, and pursue any avenue I choose and flourish, it makes me doubt my self. My mom hates go-getters. She hates people that give something their all. She does not believe that a woman should have goals. Men, yes. Women, no. In her opinion, a woman is supposed to make her man happy, and care for children and that's it. *F* that.

As a woman who has worked since I was 16, becoming a stay at home mom is crippling to my spirit. Maybe things would be different if I had never worked, and never felt the sweet gratification of a paycheck. I need to work. I need it for me. I need the structure of the workplace, I need the deadlines, I need the feeling that I have value to someone other than my family. I just need it. And for the first time in my life, I have the power to choose the path I *want* to go down, rather than take a job because I need the cash....It is something that I have been mulling over and over. And the woman refuses to listen. Listen to what I want to do with myself. What I want for myself. What I want to become. This is not a small issue in my world, but she has nothing nice to say, nor the tact to shut up and listen like a decent person.

At least I know better than to try and bounce ideas off of her in the future. There. I am finished with that. Although I don't think I feel much better about it, I have only made the situation more clear. That is a step anyway.

Stuff....

2006-03-14T17:17:00.000-06:00

I tell ya, we got some serious snow here yesterday. I took a tape measure out there to find out how much we got. 15 inches! Yay!! We had drifts 4 ft high on the one side of our house. The trees still today have snow stuck all over them, and it is beautiful. I did trudge through thigh deep snow over to my pretty pine tree yesterday and shake some of the snow off of the branches, as I was worried that some would break. Hubby thought I was nuts for doing it, and I don't care. If the tree were to lose a couple of branches, it would forever look dumb.

My mom succeeded to drive me nuts this weekend, resulting in me being close to tears and yelling at her about how she is such a democrat. Sadly it didn't even phase her. My patience was definitely put to the test. She pushed quite a few buttons.

Dropped hubby off at the airport this morning. We had to get up at 3:30am to get there in time for his flight. I feel sorry for him as he has a lot of work to do today, and he did not go to bed last night because of the early wake-up for the flight. He will sleep good tonight, that's for sure. I went back to bed when we got back home at 7:30am, and now am feeling fine. Shorty fared well, and let me sleep while he was playing his computer game, and only woke me up to make him some chocolate milk and get him crackers. He crawled into bed with me and fell asleep at 2:00pm, and I will wake him at 5:00pm so he can sleep tonight at his regular time.

It was sad, as we were pulling away from the airport, Shorty told me that he didn't want to take Daddy to the airport anymore because it makes him sad, and then he started quietly sobbing. I told him that it makes me sad too, having to say good-bye to Daddy, but it's just something we have to do. I didn't know what else to say. Poor little fella.

Happy Belated

2006-03-14T15:53:00.000-06:00

Oddy, Oddy, not at all forty...
(You think you'd be able to sneak away without a crappy poem......Mwawahhhhh!!!!)

You know who you are,
your name rhymes with roadie!
But not quite...

You brighten the day
and this I will say...
To the lawyer in Pittsburgh,
Happy belated Birthday to you!

Happy Friday!

2006-03-10T10:37:00.000-06:00

Had a marvelous day yesterday, and we had the back door open all day, turned the heat off. It was awesome. The cats went out onto the back porch, which they love to do. Yes it was a fine day. Went to the feed mill and got another $20.00 worth of corn, and hauled it in to the basement last night. We figure that will last us through the season now.

I'm having my Mom over to visit, and shop this weekend, so my weekend will be busy. Mom really enjoys looking on eBay for stuff she sees at garage sales and stuff she has at her house. I try and gross her out by showing her that people actually buy used "vintage" Tupperware on eBay. It disgusts her to no end. I find it funny. See, Mom has never used a computer, so eBay is something of a miracle to her. I enjoy WOWing her. We have a good time.

So, I've got some stuff to do before she gets here.....Happy Friday Folks!!

(Oh, and go wish Oddybobos little guy a Happy Birthday!)

You Asked For It Carmen....

2006-03-08T22:04:00.000-06:00

This fine poem goes out to Carmen, of I'll Do What I Wanna Do.....Gosh! Hey, she asked for a plett pan poem, and she is getting one! (Hey, sucky poems are my specialty!) If nobody has figured it out by now, I strive for crappy. Absolute crap. Yay for crap! Anyway, here you go:

Iron plett pan,

Seasoned so fine.

I am glad you are mine.

Who loved you for years?

A Swede, I think...

But now you are mine,

and causing me tears.

And making me drink,

too many beers!

Kindergarten

2006-03-08T17:42:00.000-06:00

It's been quite the pain of a day. Started with kindergarten round-up first thing in the morning, (Shorty did great!), but it involves sitting at the school for 2 hours while they test him, and listening to speeches by the school nurse etc...Bla, bla, long and boring.

Then I came home and was so tired it was ridiculous. So I pissed half the day away trying to sleep on the couch. People without kids take little things for granted. Like naps for one. Like when I was laying there, Shorty woke me up to put a juice box by my face, telling me "It's for if you get thirsty while you sleep Mommy".

Or how about, "Mommy, wake up, I just peed." Was it in the toilet kiddo? "Yes!" Good.

"Mommy? Mommy? Ok, ok, you be Sir Topham Hat, and so what do I need to do Sir Topham Hat?" And it just goes on and on.

I did manage to get a little sleep, and while I was "awake" I was in quite a foggy stupor. I seem to be better off for it, as I can now keep my peepers open, and got me a pot of coffee going. What is left of the day should be salvageable.

Kindergarten sure is a kick in the ass, huh?!

Plett Pan

2006-03-08T08:23:00.000-06:00

I am being driven nuts by this friggin research.

Last weekend I picked up a cast iron pan, now I know to be a "plett pan", used to make tiny Swedish pancakes, as they are the traditional Swedish Thursday night supper in Sweden. Yes, Thursday. Anyway, I have been trying like mad to find this pan made by this company (SANDVIK SAW AND TOOL CORP), and according to everything I can find out about the company, they never made cast iron pots and pans. Ever. At least their website, and historical timeline does not admit to it. Google is not offering up anything either....The company is not in my antique price guide books....This is really pissing me off. I have about 6 hours of heavy googling in on this damn thing. Maybe more.

And this is all I know:

It is indeed a plett pan. I now know what pletts are. And these are served with lingonberries. Good. At least I know what the thing is supposed to be used for.

Now, the number in the middle of the pan is 2980, and Griswold (a different cast iron pan manufacturer) uses that very same number on their plett pan. As does "WESTERN IMPORTING CO. MINNEAPOLIS MINNESOTA". The latter pan is identical to mine with the exception of the markings on the back. They used raised letters, and mine are recessed. Also identical to this Andresen plett pan.

What do I make of this? Did one company make the mold and use it for a while, and then sell it to another company? Why do they have the same 2890 number on the back, which just can't be coincidence? Why is there no mention of this company affiliated with ever making cookware, when I have definite proof that they did? Grrr. It exists. It really does, because I'm looking right at one. Grrrr......

Observations

2006-03-07T21:02:00.000-06:00

Went to the old Wally-World today, and made some observations:

1) Some old folks would like some guidance when making major purchases, like canned chili. (I helped an older gentleman with his decision today)

2) Apparently it is perfectly fine to let your kids eat as many bakery donuts as possible while shopping, as long as you stuff the wrappers behind some cheese. Bastards.

3) College girls seem to dress pretty dumpy while shopping there.

4) People on cell phones while shopping piss me off.

5) My wally-world has an arcade, and that ticks me off. Mainly because it is just another thing I have to tell my son "NO" to.

6) Some of the employees are just plain creepy. Like the cat food guy....*shudder*

So there you have it. My observations of the day.

Shop Vac

2006-03-07T20:41:00.000-06:00

Shop Vac, O' Shop Vac!

You suck things with ease..

You cleaned up a tack,

And even some cheese...

Your power is mighty

You keep our things tidy...

If only you were quieter please!

Turdballs

2006-03-07T10:43:00.000-06:00

Smelly monkey,

smelly monkey,

at the zoo.

Making turdballs with his poo.

Smelling funky,

at the zoo,

I think he got some,

on my shoe.

Only at My House...

2006-03-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

Overheard at the house of me and mine:

"I was in the FFA for a while, remember? Don't even fu*k with me on dirt composition."

Yes. My husband was saying humus wrong, (he was saying hummus) and I informed him that maybe he should just say organic matter to keep from sounding stupid. Out the online dictionary comes....

BAM! FFA kid strikes again...

Weekend Quotes

2006-03-06T16:01:00.000-06:00

Here are some quotes from this weekend:

"That kid was nice, but he's not quite right"

"A buck f***ing twenty-five for a pop?"

"Your Mom is the ultimate Ninja"

"Your Mom keeps dog crap in her pocket?!?!"

Re to above: "Yeah, but it's in a bag."

Q: "What do you get from a $60.00 hooker?"
A: "Crabs"

"That one lesbian over there....I'm thinking she doesn't have it all going on upstairs"

"How sure are you that they are lesbians?"

Yeah, we had fun. I'm resting today, and facing the reality of laundry and cleaning and dishes again....Woo hoo...

Tiny Bladder

2006-03-06T13:25:00.000-06:00

Tiny bladder, why in me?

The size of a walnut,

I'm guessing to be.

I drink lots of coffee,

but sometimes it's tea.

And spend half the day,

On the toilet to pee!

Happy Weekend to You!

2006-03-03T10:35:00.000-06:00

Going drinking, and shopping and shooting this weekend, horray!

You just can't beat good company, great deals, and killing paper. Oh, and cold beer. Can't be done.

I so enjoy spending time with my friends and family, I really do. I get so damn excited about this stuff. Like a 12 year old girl excited about a sleepover! Seriously. Oh, well. I have to get busy here sprucing the place up, cleaning the litter box, and picking out the clothes I'm wearing this fine weekend, and doing any necessary laundry. That stuff takes time. Sure does. Oops, and accessories, can't forget to pick out jewlery.

Yay! Happy weekend to you!

Get Dressed!

2006-03-02T18:59:00.000-06:00

I had Shorty dress himself today for school. You know what happens then?

Little Man is wearing 2 pairs of underpants, that's what. I have to keep a better eye on him...I just assumed...Oh well. At least he dresses himself now.

Little Lawn Man

2006-03-02T18:53:00.000-06:00

Mr. Garden Gnome, what do you say?

On the guard, for another day.

The dogs may pee, on your lap,

and all you do is laugh and clap!

You sturdy man, I have to say

I'll hose you down, another day!

Lumpy Old Man

2006-03-02T10:00:00.000-06:00

Hike up those pants, you lumpy old man,

you sweat like a monster,

go sit by a fan.

Your pants hang far down,

you look like a clown.

Please buy some suspenders,

I said with a smile.

I can see your crack,

For more than a mile.

Thanks Oddy!

2006-03-01T23:38:00.000-06:00

So here is the silver platter that Oddybobo helped me identify!! I have not had a chance to buy any silver polish, but this is what it looks like right now.

Word on the street says that according to the mark on the bottom, it was made between 1894 and 1896. Now that, my friends is pretty kick ass. I am going to continue my research on this piece to determine its value, but I am very happy to know its age.

So, a big thanks to Oddy for her super investigative skills!

Cat Lady

2006-03-01T22:43:00.000-06:00

With fur in your purse, and fur in your shoe,

we see you coming, you.Cat.Lady.you

All covered in fur, from your head to your toe,

like gentle wisps of fresh fallen snow...

Jelly Beans and White Bonnets

2006-03-01T15:41:00.000-06:00

I had a Ash Wednesday post all written up, but I'm not going to post it. Nope. You know why? It all boils down to several questions I have about the Easter tradition.

What the heck does candy, and baskets, and bunnies have to do with any of it? Did Jesus leave a pile of goodies like that under his linen when he left the cave? Was there peeps, and eggs, and chocolate bunnies under there?

Did they let the children go in there and search for plastic eggs with jelly beans in them? Did he leave a Sears catalog open to the page with clip on ties for little boys, and frilly bonnets and white dresses for the girls?

I didn't think so...

If you wonder these questions as well, here is a site that seems to have it's act together answering these very questions, with dates and origins. Quite interesting too. I don't know what to think of the Jelly Bean poem, but whatever...

"All Inclusive Vacation"

2006-03-01T10:45:00.000-06:00

Had to go to the court house today and pay a parking ticket.

(I actually joked with my husband about NOT paying it, just so I could go to jail for a few days as a "all inclusive" vacation) I have never been to jail before, but as far as I know, it's pretty quiet. I like quiet. He did not find the thought as amusing as I, but he is not a mother either......so...

So...I paid the stupid ticket. But first, I had given Shorty .50 cents to buy a roll of Lions club candies in the DMV room in the courthouse. Those ladies were so nice. Everyone at the courthouse was nice. It was creepy weird. Not right at all.

So I managed to make my way upstairs to the Court Administrators area, and lo and behold...Nice. Helpful, speedy. I was speechless as we were leaving, wondering to myself if I had just gone nuts and not realized it, and if it was all just a mind trick, and I was actually laying on the floor at home drooling and twitching. It was that strange.

But I know it really happened because I have a receipt sitting right here, but damn. When did government employees start being nice to deal with?

Stinky Pillow

2006-03-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

You stink so bad, I have to say

I barfed a little

the other day.

A little spittle,

every day,

Makes you stink, in every way.

I actually have smelled pillows that stunk to high heaven, actually at a garage sale once. For the love of pete, just throw it away!! Stinky shoes, whatever, they are far, far away from your head, but pillow?!? Phulese. Ickkeddy-Ick-Ick.

FORBES SILVER CO.

2006-02-28T18:31:00.000-06:00

I had a fabulous day today, a little shopping, a little nothing, a lot of FUN!

Anyway, I had a good day, and picked up a beautiful round silver platter w/ ornate cutout design all the way around that I'm having a pain trying to find any info on it. It's 12" across, and marked on the bottom "FORBES SILVER CO. U.S.A. QUADRUPLE" All in a circle, with an eagles head in the middle, aimed to the right. Also stamped below the mark is the number 28, and then below that is stamped YL9.

Any info would be appreciated as to the date of manufacture, based on the marking. I am not a collector of silver items, so I don't have the books here that would tell me what I'm looking for, and eBay is a bad place to do research. Any help to send me in the right direction would be great. I just want to know what exactly I have.

Now, back to writing crappy poems and googleing this dang FORBES company....

Plumbers Crack

2006-02-28T10:56:00.000-06:00

Plumbers crack, plumbers crack,

Mighty is your mat of hair.

Scaring children at the fair.

Your job indeed, you do well.

You keep those pants...way down low,

so I don't miss the horror show.

Mighty is.....thy plumbers crack.

We will be skipping the plunger poem, and heading right off to this one. I dedicate this fine poem to Oddybobo, as she requested it!

Toilet Brush

2006-02-28T00:52:00.000-06:00

Toilet brush, toilet brush, how do you do?

The duty that is yours, brave I shall say

Doing what you do, day after day.

The things you have smelled, icky and bad

I appreciate you whole-heartedly, not just a tad.

Thank you dear toilet brush, I rarely say,

but I do now, here, and today.

Man, I should write greeting cards. *snicker* Next one will be about the plunger.

Are You Happy to See Me?!?

2006-02-27T13:11:00.000-06:00

Kids are hilarious. They just call em' as they see 'em. I'll give you an example:

We showed up at our friends house on Friday to drop Shorty off with their older kids (don't worry, like WAY older, 13), and they have a little boy that Shorty loves to play with, that we will call Nelson. So we walk in, and Nelson, age 3, pops out of nowhere...

Nelson: Hi Shorty, It's me, Nelson.

Shorty: Hi Nelson!!

Nelson: Are you happy to see me?!?

Shorty: Yeah!!

And off they run, reeking havoc and destruction. We just found it hilarious. Maybe you had to be there, but it really was cute!

Superdedooper!

2006-02-27T12:22:00.000-06:00

Hooray! I has a fantastic, superdedooper weekend!

Yay! Friday I went to the bar with my husband, and we had a blast! Drinking, dancing, yay hoorah! I even got him to dance with me for the first time since Senior Prom. Holy smokes!

Then Saturday was pretty kick ass, as we both kinda did our own thing, I cleaned the house, and did a crapload of laundry, and took a nap. It was a pretty good day.

Then on Sunday we had the In-Laws over, and it was a great time. Shorty was super good, and made me real proud. It's always good when you can start to see your child become a lot more rational, and less spazzy. The boy is growing up!

We burned through 3 1/2 pots of coffee, 2/3 of a loaf of bananna bread, a whole heap of mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and *cringe* one of those turkey meatloaf/roast things *cringe again*. (I forgot to defrost meat for the meal, and that's what we were stuck with.)

Kick ass! Happy Monday to you!

About Damn Time!!

2006-02-25T23:18:00.000-06:00

Looks like Harvey spawned another Bad Example Family member, and this time it is his very own brother Tom! Yay Uncle Tom! (I will put a disclaimer on this, I married into the family, so Harvey, and Tom aren't my real Uncles, and I'm pretty sure neither one of them wants to claim me, but too bad. Blame your silly nephew for marrying me. You better just get used to me.)

But seriously, he is a great guy, and I'm glad Harvey finally forced...err...I mean convinced him to start a blog. NoWhere News. Awesome!!

Welcome to the Bad Example Family Tom!!!

Good Morning Bill...err...John...Wwwhat's Yer Name?

2006-02-25T12:31:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wonder why they don't sell toiletry kits in womens bathrooms at the bar? I would think they would sell well to the women who are going to go home with a guy unexpectantly. Just a small little kit with a toothbrush, toothpaste, tiny deodorant, maybe a perfume sample, and some asprin.

I've seen the gals that have been hunting for a man all night. Actually, nevermind. They probably keep a bag packed in their car for such occasions. Nevermind.

Hmmmm....What do you think?

Dear AARP,

2006-02-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Sir or Madame at AARP,

Please stop sending me mail. I am not even 30 years old, and I am on your mailing list. Lets just stop wasting time and resources, both yours and mine.

If you got my name and address from one of my friends, because it was my birthday recently, please tell me who it was.

I will not beat them with a toilet brush, and shave "Ice, Ice, Baby" into the back of their head with a beard trimmer. I will not fill the back of their truck with roadkill. I will not fill their front step with fresh pig crap. I will not sign them up for the readers digest condensed book club. I will however, tell them that it wasn't funny, and they better watch it on their birthday...

Seriously, I'm getting stuff from the AARP, and it kinda sucks.

I'm a Hobo Apparently

2006-02-24T12:13:00.000-06:00

Shorty announced to me that he has no mommy. So I replied "Well, who am I then?"

"You are the lady that comes for food and makes hot chocolate for me."

Nice. My career as the underappreciated hobo that Daddy lets live here begins...

Rules For Thy Husband...

2006-02-23T18:53:00.000-06:00

Just for the fun of it, I am going to write up a list of rules for my husband to abide by. Why, you say? Because it's funny. And this guy did it for his wife, and I think I can do better.

1) You will make eye contact with me while I am talking to you. I don't want to have to say "Look at me when I'm fu**ing talking to you!!" anymore.

2) When I tell you that something is broken, it's broke. I'm not dumb. Go fix it instead of asking a million questions that I can't answer. Just go fix it. You are the man, and it's your job. Get crackin'.

3) When someone comes to the door selling us religion, just tell them to go away. Don't chat with them, don't take their booklet, just tell them to get their pimpin' selves off the property. I hate it when they come back for you when I'm not home, and *I* have to be a dick to them.

4) When the cats do stuff you don't like, don't blame it on me. They are crazy, and you like them. Say it.

5) Quit cleaning the guns in the bedroom. Seriously.

6) When the car gets stuck in the yard, don't try to pelt the side of the house with a rooster tail of mud. The neighbors have enough to talk about.

7) When you are waiting in the car for me, don't play with the power locks, and lock me out, and then un-lock it, then lock it as soon as I reach for the handle. Any more of that, and you will wish you had never taught me how to punch someone and make it hurt.

8) If you are reading one of my books, be careful with it. If you break a binding on one of my books, the price to pay will be high. To the tune of skulls crackin'.

9) If I fall down in the yard/house/down steps/ the first thing you will do is ask me if I'm OK. Not laugh your ass off.

10) No more giving me snuggies that tear the elastic off my underpants. I will tolerate it no longer. And it wastes perfectly good underpants.

Now, I'd rather have my spouse abide by those rules anyday, rather than Mr. Crazymelons psycho list. Pfft...anyday...

Obey or ELSE!

2006-02-23T11:08:00.000-06:00

Found something funny over at Freedom Folks place, about a Iowa man who wrote up a contract for all of the things he wants his wife to do during their marriage. Funny in theory....till you read the contract. I do believe the guy is a little (or a lot) nuts. This is where you can read the contract.

What!?!?

2006-02-22T17:00:00.000-06:00

Talked to my Mom today, and we were discussing how my in-laws were coming to visit this weekend. She reacted strangely, and I don't know what to make of it.

She asked me why they were coming. I told her it was to visit.

"They are coming just to visit?" She asked. "Yes. Why else would they come here?" I replied.

"Wow. How nice of them to come just to visit"

What the hell is that? Why else would someone come to visit? Err...Duh...TO VISIT!! It's funny how when MY parents come over there needs to be a friggin' itinerary for the day or else they get all twitchy and just sit around staring at the wall not attempting to make conversation, but when we have other people over, they seem to go with the flow great, conversation flows like water, and we don't have to have "entertainment" for them. ManOman. So, what do I make of that?

Meme Time!

2006-02-22T10:53:00.000-06:00

Looks like the gal over at MathCog Idiocy nailed me with another meme. Yay. Thanks I guess. :-)

For Movies, Black and white, or color? Color, all the way.

What is the one single subject that bores you near to death? Electricity and all thoeries to do with it.

MP3's, CD's, Tapes. or records? The sound quality of a record cannot be beat, there is a certain tone or beefyness to it, but due to the not user friendliness, I will have to choose CD's.

You are handed one first class plane ticket to anywhere in the world and 10 million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you never tell anyone where you are going. That includes everyone...family, friends, everyone. Do you take the money and run? Nope. If you don't have your family and friends, you've got nothin'.

What do you consider the worlds most pressing issue right now? No way Jose. Not going there. Besides, there are too many to pick.

How would you rectify the pressing issue? Rect...What? Just kidding. Oh, that wasn't funny. Sorry.

If given the chance to go back and change one thing about your life, what would you change? I would have never started smoking.

If you were given the chance to change one event in world history, what would it be. That's just not smart.

A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opery? Opera. I've got a good idea what the Grand Ole' Opery is all about, and I'd rather get all dressed up for the opera.

What is the one great unsolved crime you would like to see solved? Where oh where is Jimmy Hoffa? Hmmm...

One famous author can come to dinner with you, who would that be? What would you serve? Laura Ingalls Wilder. And I would serve Ham, scallopped potatoes, and fresh green beans. Apple crisp for dessert.

You discover that John Lennon was right, and there is no Hell below, and the only thing above us is sky, what would be the first immoral thing thing you do? I wouldn't change the way I live my life at all. That's how I live it right now. You don't need the fear of your afterlife to be a moral person.

I'm not tagging anybody because I'm just that lazy. Sorry!

The Meme Fairy is Beating The Living Crap Out Of Me!!

2006-02-21T20:57:00.000-06:00

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Hmmm...This is tough. Yay Richmond. Thanks. :-)

Here we go:
Ring of Fire, by Johnny Cash

Sweet Home Alabama, by Lynyrd Skynard

Free Bird, by Lynyrd Skynard

Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting, by ?????? (I don't even know the real name of the song) It makes me want to get up and dance every time I hear it. I know. I'm lame.

And the last three will have to be any of the songs on the Type O Negative album "Bloody Kisses" except the Jungle song, or the "kill all the white people" song. Those two songs suck in my opinion. Fantastic live show as well.

My music tastes vary, I like a lot of music. No jazz. Anything but jazz.

I'm not tagging others with this one, you all can rest easy.

Hot Trailer Action...

2006-02-21T18:47:00.000-06:00

I had to go to the feed mill today and get corn for the stove, and my husband had pulled the truck out front for me, but left the trailer attached. We discussed it last night, and he said I would be able to get the trailer unhooked so I wouldn't have to cart that thing around to the feed mill. OK, I figured that since he had the confidence in me that I was strong enough to do this I would be fine.

I'm plenty strong, but I have no grip strength in my hands. I was fine till I had to unplug the trailer wiring. I was out in the street fighting this connecter with all I had. The dirty SOB wouldn't budge. I must have fought with it for 10 minutes. I finally got it unplugged, and by that time I was seriously pissed. So I picked up the toungue of the trailer off the ball hitch and roll it back a bit....And the damn thing kept rolling. Yup. There goes the trailer slowly heading down the street. Quick as I am, I grab a chunk of old railroad tie out of the back of the truck and toss it behind the crank dealie stand (No clue what the real name is for it), and that slowed it way down. Then I grabbed a bigger chunk of tie, and ran to the back of the trailer and put it behind the tire. A definate moment of panic had happened right there, no question.

All went well from there on out, thankfully. It would have not been a fun day had that trailer gone zipping down the street, into the neighbors house. Or knowing my luck, it would have run over a mob of elderly, out for an afternoon stroll.

Electrical Interference...Boo.

2006-02-21T16:37:00.000-06:00

A big sorry goes out to all of my regular readers, for not posting the past few days. Both of you will be fine I'm sure.

Anyway, my phone and dial-up hasn't been working right lately, there would be intermittent scratchy noises like some guy rubbing a beard on the receiver of the phone. It would happen sometimes when I was connecting to the internet, sometimes while I was on the phone. When it happened while I was on the internet, sometimes I would loose my connection. Well, yesterday I tried to get on the internet, and the computer couldn't even try to dial, as there was no dial tone at all. Pick up the phone. Nothing. So all day yesterday I had nothing, no cell phone (because I don't have one of those evil things), computer, regular tele, nothing.

Today I didn't even try to use the computer, I picked up the phone and called my folks quick to see if it was too good to be true. Works fine. So then I called the phone company to come check the lines outside. The gal I got on the phone was real nice and suggested that I unplug all the phones in the house that plug into electricity (answering machine, cordless, etc.), because apparently what I was describing sounds like electrical interference. Huh. So I told her not to send a man out, and I would do as she suggested. So as soon as I got off the phone with her, I tried to connect on the internet, to e-mail my husband and by golly, it puked again. No dial tone.

Son.of.a bitch. So I unplugged the cordless right here next to the computer. What do you know, everything works now. Hell yeah! So I am happy. Very happy. Stupid phone.

So, that's where I have been. Now I don't have to write Harvey a LETTER, and send it in the MAIL, asking him to write a post telling folks that I didn't fall in a well, or get eaten by a pack of rabid bunnies, or overdose on Captain Crunch. Just a crappy ass phone to blame. Unless it is all just a coincedince, and if that's the case, it'll be a while before you hear from me again.

Like Burning Hair...

2006-02-17T16:24:00.000-06:00

Ahhh.....Jealousy.....Smells a little like burning hair.....

Anyway, most of the cool kids are going to the Wolf Park blogmeet, and it's killing me. Slowly killing...rocking in the corner...wiping my tears on the drapes...I can't make it to this one. I had a great time at the last blogmeet, maybe it didn't show, but it really was a blast!

I will live, but I am still a bit jealous. It helps ease the pain knowing that it will be colder than all get out, and that Contagion has some funky eye thing going on that I'd rather not catch (but seriously, rumor on the street says it's not contagious) , but other than that, the times will be fun that I am sure of.

Instead of freezing my arse off, I will be sitting here watching my husband open up his shipment of goods he ordered the other day from Midway. They arrived today just in time for the weekend. He is excited!

I am going to go back to rocking in the corner, wiping my tears on the drapes, and shaking my fist...

Nippy!

2006-02-17T12:09:00.000-06:00

Woo-hoo!

Windchill readings of -30 to -45 today!! That's nippy.

I made something of an emergency bag last night for my husbands car with snowpants, scarf, giant mittens, socks, & candles w/ matches.

He normally wears a hat and gloves, and scarf, and another fuzzy neck thingie, so he dresses pretty appropriately, except I worry that our stationwagon will choose this bitter cold time to self destruct, and I don't want my husband to be totally screwed. I personally wouldn't be surprised if the wagon chucks some parts today, as that car seems to have a mind of it's own. It's a little spooky.

It never hurts to be prepared.

Dream - O - Rama

2006-02-17T11:53:00.000-06:00

Had a dream last night, and it was funny stuff.

It was staged at a school with a gymnasium, but at the same time, it was also the first job I ever had (flower shop). Didn't make a whole lot of sense to me either, except there had been some major catastrophy, and lots and lots of funeral flowers were needed, and the school was the only place big enough to make all of those arrangements.

The place was full of kids (being a school and all), but I was an adult (sort of), so I was coming in to work to make stuff, and all she (my hippie boss) would let me do was make bows, and corsages for other stuff, she wouldn't let me touch any of the funeral stuff. Anyway, it pissed me off to no end, because I'm plenty good at arranging to be doing funeral flowers, but yet she wasn't trusting me to do it.

So then the dream snapped into me being about 14 or 15 years old, and horsing around in the gym with my husband at that same age (which was really creepy, strangly even in the dream because I remembered him exactly, right down to the broken glasses, jacket, hair, shoes. It was REALLY like going back in time), and a couple of other kids I knew from school, and the one got hurt in the beginning of the day, and I took him to the hospital to get fixed up, and then later in the day I had to take him back to the hospital because we all had some brilliant plan to alter the game of dodge ball, to where there was no ball, and all the people (dodgers) had to shut their eyes, as someone ran towards them, they had to keep their eyes shut and pay attention to the sound of the person running, and dodge accordingly. Well according to my dream, that is a terrible idea. So I took him to the hospital a second time. Poor kid. I didn't mean to bust his head open like that.

*Back to being an adult* So I went into the bosses office to tell her where I was going, and she is sitting there in front of the computer, using an elementary hooked on phonics type program, and failing miserably, and all pissed of. It was like second grader reading and spelling stuff. And she just sucked ass at it. I was disgusted, and found great ammts. of humor in it.

That's it. Maybe there was more, but I can't remember.

Windchill Advisory

2006-02-16T22:40:00.000-06:00

Earlier tonight there was a windchill advisory for my area because the windchill was going to be in the -38 range, which I must say stings a bit.

I went on the Weather Channel website to read the warning, and after all the bla bla cold bla wind bla hypothermia bla bla frostbite bla bla, there was one last sentence.

"Remember to wear a hat and gloves"

Well no sh*t . Geez. Why!? Why did they add that? Anyone dumb enough to go outside after reading that the windchill could be -38 with no hat or gloves deserves to loose their ears. Cripes Almighty, why?! As a public service? Screw that. Anyone dumb enough to not wear a hat or gloves outside tonight probably can't read the message anyway, or they have round the clock care, and the caregiver knows better than to let them outside without a cap and gloves.

Anyway, it really pissed me off. I'm done venting now. I hate being told the obvious. Grrr...

He Finally Went Pro

2006-02-16T15:38:00.000-06:00

We have a nick-name for our man cat Sally. I have wrote about him before, about how he has earned the name "The Crippler".

He used to be content to rest his rotund 20 lb meaty self of my knee, or ankle, or anywhere that can cause pain that lasts and lasts. Note, he only "cripples" me at night if I have a blanket on. Won't have anything to do with me if I am sitting in a chair.

Woke up the other morning to a strange crippling sensation in my shoulder, and most of my upper body. Realized that Sally was perched on my shoulder as I was sleeping. 20 lbs of giant crippling cat, slowly smashing the life out of me with his obeseness. What I can't figure out is how he got up there without me knowing about it, because when he walks on you it feels like being stabbed with a pool cue. Just goes to show that he is honing his crippling skills, unfortunately for me I'd say he has gone Pro. Yay for Sally. Boo for me.

Shorty Tale...

2006-02-16T11:12:00.000-06:00

Hubby and I were discussing a large shipment of goods that he ordered the other night, and how excited he was that they might arrive on Friday, just in time for the weekend. We just kept calling it "the shipment".

Well, Shorty apparently mis-heard what we were saying, or he was trying to be funny, we don't know, but he was in the living room yelling "I can't wait for my sh*t" and "I love sh*t"! and "My sh*t will be here soon...Hooray"! While jumping on the couch.

We were in the kitchen listening to the horror in the living room, hoping he would stop on his own because his audience left, when we hear "Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, I love sh*t!" In his musical singing voice.

There comes a point where you just have to make it stop, so this is what we did. Hubby asked Shorty what the heck he was saying, Shorty said he didn't know, he was just being funny. Hubby asked him if he knew what that word meant, and Shorty said he didn't. So Mike told him that we didn't know either, and to quit using words that nobody knows what they mean, because it's not funny. He quit right then.

Awesome.

Bring it On!

2006-02-15T11:35:00.000-06:00

Cripes, I am so damn excited!!

There is a whole heap o' snow coming my way, and I just can't wait! They are talking up to a foot in places south of me, and I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I will get something close to that. Bring it on!!

What does one do to prepare for heaps and heaps of snow?

*Find good boots and snowpants in closet
*Make sure the shovel is where it belongs, so nobody has to tromp all over to find it.
*Make sure we have enough toilet paper so we don't have to drive far for something dumb.
*We always have lots of food, so that's not an issue. We are set for a good month, easily.
*Make sure Charlie the garage cat is safe and sound in the garage, so he isn't left to huddle in a snowbank. I do worry about him.

That's about it. I'm ready and waiting. I should not get myself so wriled up about it, because then it seems we get only an inch or two, but I WANT IT!!

Valentines Day Post

2006-02-14T21:21:00.000-06:00

I refuse to write anything about this holiday, as it is lame and such a thinly veiled marketing spoof it doesn't deserve the attention. There.

That said, I finally have it in me to post again.

It was my Birthday recently, and so my husband was nice enough to watch the little man for me. For 3, yes 3 days!

So on Friday I drank till I barfed in my buddies driveway, then went to bed. I gotta find that line where I don't barf in the driveway. I haven't found it yet. Just seems I fill up till I can hold no more. Not good. I have TONS of fun, don't get me wrong, but I am too old to be barfing in driveways. I should have a handle on this by now.

Saturday I was surprisingly alert and not that sick, and I went to my in-laws. That was fun. It actually was. Had Burger King for breakfast, Arbys for lunch, and Subway for dinner. You can't shake a stick at that. (I love fast food, but only eat it about once a month.) I slept there Saturday night, and woke up to their dog putting a wet stuffed animal in my face because she wanted to play. Good Morning dog drool!

Sunday afternoon I met up with my husband and the boy at my parents house, and took over my Motherly duties. Spent the day at parents house bored out of my skull, then spent the night there too. My Dad kept me up till 3am chatting & watching the Olympics (Dad likes the Olympics, and I don't really give a crap about them). It was nice to actually chat with my Dad as he is generally crabby, and was not that night.

Then mom and I went to my great Grandmas funeral, and then to my Grandmas house afterwards. 30 people in a 2 bedroom rambler in the middle of winter is quite a sight. Food galore too. I don't know how she did it. Must be one of those seasoned old lady skills I have yet to acquire. Wow.

All in all, I had a fantastic weekend, with most of my favorite people. Wish my Husband could have been there to enjoy some free time with me, but other than that it was great. 'Tis great to get out every once in a while. It is also nice to leave for long enough time to be glad to be home again.

Harness Those Unruly Puppies

2006-02-09T21:10:00.000-06:00

***UPDATE***SEE BELOW***

Hubby came home last night with something funny:

"The HR lady at work really needs to wear a bra."

Me: "What?!?! She wasn't wearing a bra?"

"No, and she seemed to be cold."

Me: "Hahahahahh!!! Were you offended by her appendages, you poor thing?"

"A little bit, you know, normally you would put in a word with HR about something like this, but who do you tell when it is the HR lady being offensive?"

Me: "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. How old is she? Is she at least hot?"

"She is not hot, and she is old enough to know better" "She had no business not wearing a bra. And it wasn't just me that noticed it, all the guys in my dept. did, so it's not just me being weird."

Me: "Well that's just funny."

"Not really."

Now, for real...What do you do about a HR type problem about the HR lady? Seriously. Not that he is going to tattle or anything, just a thought...

**HERE IS THE UPDATE**

By Mike the husband:

I just thought I would clarify. I am not the type of person who would go running to the HR department because a co-worker has some unruly nipples. While it is quite distracting (much like a train wreck), I perfer to just not look. I brought it up last night for 2 reasons.

1) It was unsettling.

2) I wondered what an easily offended person would do when faced with this situation.

The nipples did not offend me at all. However, they did make me wish I was wearing saftey glasses at the time. Seriously, 1/4" easily.

Worry Not Tige!

2006-02-09T13:01:00.000-06:00

Don't worry Tige, I'm not snubbing you about the 20 questions, I'm just lazy at homework & I'll get to it eventually!! Worry not!

Husband Beating

2006-02-08T12:29:00.000-06:00

Contagion reminded me of a husband beating incident back in 1997. My boyfriend (now husband) and I were driving out to Sacramento Ca. to participate in a wedding in Reno (long story). We had decided to drive straight thru, just switching drivers when one got sleepy, so the other one could get some shut-eye.

Well, we left Wisconsin after he got done from work at 11:00 pm, and he drove till dawn. Then it was my turn, but as I had never driven anywhere ever, I had been too excited to sleep while he was driving. I took some caffeine pills, washed them down with cola, and drove through Nebraska and a little of Wyoming rocking in my seat and blathering nonsense from all the caffeine.

Then I was finally ready to sleep. I fell asleep immediately, and soundly, and when my husband tried to wake me to drive again, it wasn't pretty. I woke up pissed off. Apparently my husbands first attempt at waking me up failed, as I proceeded to take swings at his head with my fists of fury, eyes closed. He decided for the safety of all to continue driving rather than attempting to get me to wake up. So he drove a couple more hours, with the windows down, and the music blaring to keep himself alert, and all the while I slept like a baby.

(Funny thing about the music part: neither one of us remembered that when you get out in the middle of BF nowhere, there is no radio to speak of, and we forgot to bring along tapes. We found a Def Leopard tape and a worn out Metallica tape in the glove box to see us thru. It was rough.)

Rest

2006-02-07T22:49:00.000-06:00

I lost my Great Grandmother last night. She had been living in the nursing home for about 12 years, and went in there with sound mind and spirit, but with her body failing her. She always said that she didn't want to be that 100 year old woman at the home, that couldn't take care of herself at all anymore. Sadly for her, she was that woman, and made it to the ripe age of 104. She was very sad about that, and never wanted to make it to 100. She was ready to rest.

When I was little I would go visit my grandma & grandpa, and my Great Grandmother lived in the same town as them, and I would get sent over there to visit her. She would always greet me with a smile, and then set me up with some warm (I don't know why it was ALWAYS warm) grape juice in a jelly jar glass, some stale cookies, and sit in the kitchen with me and visit for a while. Her house was always kind of eerie quiet. No radio or TV on, always very tidy and clean.

On one particular visit, she took me upstairs to look at some books, and she told me to pick any three books of hers that I might like and I could keep them. I still have those, as they mean a lot to me. See, she was a school teacher all of her adult life, and had lots of children's books from back in the day, I think the ones I picked were from the 1930's. I do believe she taught well into the 1960's, as my mother remembers there always being melted crayons in the car during summer break.

For her, I am glad she can rest. I am glad she no longer has to be burdened with her failing body, and her (now) failing mind. I wish her the best in whatever happens next, and I hope she knows that she was very dearly loved and cherished. I do not feel sad for her, only happiness. She has been wanting to go for some time now, and I am glad she feels no more pain. After spending 104 years on this planet, what you really need is rest.

So on Monday I will say goodbye to the only person I will ever know that has seen Indians in the woods, lost brothers, sons, and grandsons in wars, seen the buffalo roam, lived through the Great Depression, seen America absorb electricity, telephones, radios, television, and cars. Amazing.

Mmmmm...Lentils...

2006-02-07T10:50:00.000-06:00

My husband cracks me up sometimes. He is generally an observant individual, but sometimes (because he is human) he goofs.

Last night he came home and was very hungry. He was having a hard time waiting the 20 minutes till dinner and was pacing, grazing on cookies and whatnot. Comes in and sits down by the computer with a clear sack and mentions how he is going to eat some sunflower seeds. Now that isn't unusual at all till I actually looked at him taking the twistie tie off of the bag, and it is clearly LENTILS. For a second I looked at him, but he wasn't joking, and before I could stop myself, I said "Hey, that's lentils dumbass". Why?!? WHY did I have to say anything? I would pay money to see him casually toss a handful of lentils into his mouth, and watch the horror of it on his face, and I had to go and tell him. Who's the dumbass now, huh?

Oh well. I try to be evil, but it rarely works out. I gotta work on that.

Super Cheap-O Hint of the Day

2006-02-06T23:35:00.000-06:00

Ahh....yes. Had a wonderful weekend away from home, found some super deals at.... (oh you think I'm telling where I get awesome deals, nope) it's a secret place and I'm not telling.

I got 2 down jackets for my son, one for next year, and the other is for a couple of years from now. Wow, how much did they cost you say?!?! .25 cents each. Yup. Also picked up many sweatshirts, old navy shirts, t-shirts, etc. for the boy, and they were all .25 cents each. Man, you can't shake a stick at that. I'm just thrilled. Boys are hard on clothes, and at prices like that, YAY!!

But that is not my cheap-o hint of the day. This is:

Instead of buying hand soap in the dispenser, or even buying the refill bottles to refill your dispenser, I just take the cheapest dish soap I can buy, fill the dispenser half-way, then fill it the rest of the way with water, tip it up and down a few times to mix, and you are good to go. I decided to try this when Shorty was a baby, and I was constantly washing my hands because of diapers, barf, boogers, drool, etc...and we were going through a large refill bottle of the wal-mart brand every 2 weeks. Now I have it in all of the bottles because Shorty washes his hands, and you know how kids are with soap. Yeah, they don't have enough in their hand till it is dripping off their elbows, and I don't even cringe. It is so cheap, I could care less, I'm just glad he wants to wash his hands, we will work on the details of soap consumption later.

In fact, I'll bet you could thin the soap down even more with water and still have decent results, I just use 50/50, and it works fantastic.

Cheap-O Hint of The Day

2006-02-03T08:51:00.000-06:00

I will be the first to admit that I am a cheapskate. I am cheap.

I have perfected avenues of cheapness that would make some people blush.

That said, I have a remarkable discovery. If you take slightly less of your regular liquid laundry soap (I prefer purex with color-safe bleach alternative), and a mere Tablespoon or so of the new Tide with Febreeze, you get some damn nice smelling clothes. Damn nice. Since you only use the Tide by the Tablespoon, it lasts for a long, long time, and you still get to buy the cheap soap, and enjoy the deliciousness of the smell of Tide with Febreeze.

Try it, you have nothing to lose, and combined with my previous hint of cutting the Bounce sheets in 1/4's, you can enjoy yummy clothes at a fraction of the price.

*Don't get me wrong, clothes washed in full strength Tide, and with a whole dryer sheet, smells intoxicating, but it's not cheap. My goal is cheap, smells nice, and works well.

I Do What I Can With What I've Got

2006-02-02T18:22:00.000-06:00

Oh what a great day today!

The sun shone bright all day, with a high in the low 40's.

Shorty and I took a walk before he went to pre-school, and then went for another when he got home from school! As long as you aren't actually trying to get somewhere, walks with him are great. As long as you know to expect the usual dawdling, stopping at every puddle, pointing out every piece of garbage, wandering into peoples yards, wanting to check other peoples mailboxes, picking up sticks, poking me with wet sticks, you know, usual kid stuff.

He wanted to drive monster trucks in the puddles in the driveway, so I took the opportunity to clean our back porch. It is quite a big porch (to me anyway), so it took a while to sweep, and shuffle chairs and stuff around. Charlie the garage cat had been living in there before winter, so there was lots of cat hair floating about, and Shorty managed to make a disaster of his porch toys. The whole deal took about an hour, not too bad. Sat out there after I was done in a flannel shirt and played with Charlie in the sunshine. It was almost balmy.

I let Charlie out of the garage today after I fed him, as it was such a nice day, and within a half hour he had a mouse killed under the pine tree. That was his first kill as far as I know. Shorty wanted to pet the mouse that Charlie had, and I just wouldn't let him. I'm sure it would have been fine, but I just found it gross, and told him that we shouldn't ever mess with the cats mice. ewwww. Charlie thought we were a little too interested in his meal, and drug it farther under the tree so he wouldn't have to share it. I don't blame him. That was a fine looking mouse.

All in all it was a great day! However I would have been happier if we would have gotten pummeled with a good foot of snow, with wind and subzero temps, but I do what I can with what I've got.

What a day...