That's Not Very Nice!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I Have Never...

The latest meme going around got me thinking...

I have never been on vacation. Well I guess it depends on what the definition of vacation really is. I have gone places, relatives houses, for weddings, etc...

As an adult I have not been on a plane. Or train. Or bus.

*WARNING* Now begins the I HAVE NEVER...portion. Don't read the rest of this unless you feel like wasting a great deal of time. Seriously.

I have never left the country. I have never seen the ocean. I have never been camping. I have never valet parked. I have never stayed in a hotel taller than 3 stories high. I have never eaten at a restaurant where there is a dress code. I have never had a cup of Starbucks coffee. I have never been to a fitness center. I haven't cut my hair since the 1990's. I own no pantyhose. Serenity was the first movie I saw in a theater since the 1990's, and the one before that was *oh no* Showgirls. I haven't been to a museum since a elementary school field trip. I have never paid a toll booth. I have never been to a spa. I have never had my nails done. I have never had a massage. I have never been fitted for an article of clothing. I have never used actual 'silver' forks, spoons etc.., I have never rented a car, I have never seen an ipod, I have never been in a taxi, have never had room service, have never been in a hot tub, I have never purchased cookies or cake from the grocery store bakery, I have never had an 'energy drink' like Red Bull, I have never had a pizza delivered, I have never double-parked, I have not had my picture taken professionally since my graduation photos.

I have not had my hand held since I gave birth. I have never had a car door opened for me. I have never been to a bachelorette party. Never had a party thrown just for me (except for the ones when I was like, 3), have never owned a mini-van or SUV (I don't think a 1985 full size blazer counts as a SUV). I have never had a smoothie. Never had a banana split. Never been away from home for more than a week. I have never purchased shoes on a whim. I have all the same make-up I had in high school with the exception of mascara. I have never had my hair blow-dried by anyone but me. I have never purchased 'artwork'. I have never "shopped" for a car. Never had a Dunkin' Donut. I have never paid for a car wash, never taken my car to have the oil changed. I have never paid to have my taxes done. I have never had anything dry cleaned. I have never had a comfortable bed. I have never seen anything pay-per-view. I have never had my hair 'styled'. I have never been to a play. I have never been to the opera. I have never bought a scratch-off lottery ticket. I have never bought any product from the fancy cosmetics counter at a department store. The only pet I have purchased was a .25 goldfish, the cats were free. Cats are always free. I have never had a dog of my own. I have never been to a beach that the sand wasn't muddy and smelly. I have never been in a boat that went fast enough to waterski behind.

Wow. Everything just spilled right out. I can guarantee there is more cool stuff that I haven't done, but I just don't have it in me to continue with the list. Now that I have read it all I feel pretty lame. No, not pretty lame...really lame. Damn. And just think, I'm almost 30 years old.

Now I will have to make a list of all the stuff that I HAVE done. That ought to cheer me up...or not. Uff-da.