That's Not Very Nice!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Sale...Part One...

There are a number of interesting things that happen when you go to the In-Laws:

2 of the three nights my Father-In-Law peer pressured me into getting sh*t faced drunk. Lines like "oh...Better drink up, this stuff will go bad you know" Vodka doesn't go bad. Ever. "Lets take the till and go to the bar."

"Did you know there is a box of your old p0rn0 mags. out in the garage? Don't ever get rid of those. There's even midget p0rn in there. We want that stuff if you decide to get rid of it OK?" I mentioned casually.

Have you ever seen a old, short, crazy bearded Norwegian man turn bright red in the dark? His response, with quite a bit of looking no one in the eye was "Midget p0rn? I didn't even know they MADE midget p0rn." My ass, it's HIS box, from the seventies no less. And that is what I told him. It's not ours. Why would we keep our p0rn in their garage? This box is big too. We spent an afternoon in the garage one time sorting through them in high school. They have been in the same spot since. If we would have been jerks we would have stolen the box long ago.

This all probably sounds like these people are some real trashy folks, but they are not. I can safely assume that I am the only reason they have ever discussed midget p0rn together. I bring out the best/worst in people. I can't help it. It certainly was a delightfully great time, and I will write 'The Sale...Part Two' tomorrow.

Oh, by the way, the gross income for me from the sale was $130.00, but after it took $60.00 in gas to get there and back in the stupid van, the profit was obviously less than satisfactory. Good thing they took me out to eat and supported my caffeine habit, and filled me up with booze.

P.S. I know that it sounds like I made parts of this story up, but I promise I did not, it is an honest to god true story. I may like to be funny, but I don't lie. Especially about midget p0rn.

Did anyone but me notice I wrote 'midget p0rn' five times in this post?