That's Not Very Nice!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Sale...Part Two...

I just couldn't help myself. I should have kept my trap shut but I didn't. I finally told my mother In-Law that her son and I had intercourse in the upstairs bedroom almost daily all through 1995,1996,and 1997. This came up last Friday night as we were sitting outside having a cocktail on the patio. I pointed to the neighborhood house where one of their freeloading 22 year-old sons was changing his clothes in the window. A delightful sight I must say. I could hardly contain myself with the giggling and gawking as he was changing. It was just embarrassing. My mother In-Law kept her cool, and looked as well. This is when I decided to tell the delightful tale about how I 'turned' the neighbor kids gay many years ago.

It goes like this:

When my boyfriend (now husband) and I were dating in high school, the windows in his bedroom didn't have any mini-blinds on them. We never thought anything of this as we continued on our wildly acrobatic spiral of sexual experimentation. I'm telling you we were really something back then.

Turns out I was the only one that wasn't concerned about the mini-blinds, he was aware of the fact that the whole neighborhood could see, and thought it was funny. I had just never thought of it. (I was a country kid, gimme a break) Then we went to wally-world and bought mini-blinds.

So whenever it has been brought up from then on, all we have been saying is "oh-remember when you 'turned' the neighbor kids gay?". The reason it is so funny is because I had a nicer body than most of the cheerleaders, and definitely better legs than all of them. Oh the days of hotness.

Anyway, I told my Mother In-Law the whole story. She sat there slack jawed while I was telling the story, and then went on to say "well, the neighbor boys were going to find out about sex somehow anyway". She didn't seem to get the point that they learned too much. Holy Smokes.

On Saturday night my husband came over, and since I was sleeping there without him, I loudly invited him up to my 'room' (which of course used to be his room) just to see what kind of reaction I would get. From across the house Mother In-Law yells "Don't do anything nasty up there!!" Now that had all of us in tears. Except she was serious. Which made it worse. And all the windows were open for the whole neighborhood to hear. Priceless.