That's Not Very Nice!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Neighborhood Love

The police just left. I watched them paint chalk lines on the tires of the vehicles in front of my house. The only reason the police in this town come around chalking peoples tires is when there is a complaint. I know who made the complaint, and this happens way too damn often.

We are good neighbors, we are not loud, we don't have dogs, we keep our cats in the house or on leashes so they do not eat the neighbors birds from their feeders, I keep Shorty out of their yard, we mow twice a week, we always wave at each other we we are outside. I don't know what else to do. They are just nosy jerks.

When we moved here we thought we had the nicest neighbors. Until the police came the first time with official complaint papers. The papers said that this property was a blight on the neighborhood because of the inoperable vehicles. The police man said that the neighbor was furious.

There is not one inoperable vehicle on this property. They all look terrible because they are all old and crappy, but they are all registered and work properly. As soon as one breaks something really expensive, and we don't have the part in the basement, the car goes into the garage to get pillaged for parts for future cars, and we haul it away to the scrap yard. It is economical for us because my husband keeps all these cars in good order, and we drive them all over without worry. We talked with the police about it, and they said that we were OK, and not to change a thing because they were registered and running. We changed nothing because of that complaint. That must have had Mr. Cranky Neighbor Man more furious. Just furious.

The second time the police came to the door was when we had a vehicle parked out front, and it was parked about 4 inches across the property line. In the street mind you. Last time I heard, the street was all public parking. They were complaining that the tire on the van was near their sump hose that shoots water into the street. Please. They also did not like it because when the street sweeper came around it would have to swing wide around my vehicle, and would not sweep the whole stretch in front of his house. The poor police man was telling me this stuff, and I was just shaking my head, and he was trying to explain that he HAD to respond to the complaint because the neighbor had contacted the Mayor about the situation. Neighbor was pissed enough about it to call the mayor. The police man was amused at the situation, and was sorry to be bothering me. He told me that the neighbor just got home from hip replacement surgery, and had nothing better to do than complain about our stuff. Goody. I moved the van back about 6 feet, and called it good. That must have really pissed him off, but the police man said it was OK.

I am also bothered by the fact that they always wave and smile at us, but they don't have the balls to talk to us about things that are bothering them. The first I find out about it is when the police come. It makes me want to cry. I have never had neighbor issues before, and I just don't know what to do. I think I might quit waving. That would be a pretty bold move in this neighborhood. I think I will withhold all waves to that side of the house. I have tried to stay mature about things, but for petes sake I can only fake it so long.

Waving will be withheld until further notice.