Dear Santa

I have not gotten anything from you in many, many years. I am requesting a few items this year in reimbursement.

new dishwasher

new waterheater

new underpants

flat panel TV so I can get rid of the entertainment center

the remaining seasons of Buffy and Angel that I don't have

new socks

one of your elves till next Christmas, to clean the litter box

a knob for my washing machine so I don't have to use a pliers to turn it

different neighbors next door

a new door handle for the Sonoma as Mike broke it in the last ice storm

the remaining Foxfire books that I don't already have

nice black leather boots, because the Sorel boots that I have had since I was 13 are not appropriate to wear everywhere I go. They make me look even more like a lumberjack.

25 lbs of lefse

A years worth of Diet Pepsi. I know that's a lot, but don't worry, I have lots of room in the basement. The litter box elve you sent can carry it all down there.

I would like you to re-design the windshield washer squirter system on several of our vehicles so that the rubber tube going to the squirter doesn't freeze up at inopportune moments.

Thank you Santa.

Love,
Sarah