Stupid Cousin
I have this stupid cousin. Everybody has a stupid cousin, Right?
We shall call him "Norman" to protect his stupidity errr...identity.
All of us kids are catching up on the latest with each others jobs, etc. when my stupid ass tool of a cousin Norman pipes up about how he has this AK that he and his friends use to shoot up cars that they don't want anymore. Granted, it's their own stuff they are wrecking, so that's OK I guess, I wouldn't do it in a million years, but whatever, then I said "Well, as long as you aren't shooting steel jacketed ammo, now THAT would be stupid." His reply was "oh hell yeah, that's the best, you can crack the block with those!!" What. A. Tool. Then I just looked at the others and announced that we are sitting by a future Darwin Award winner. Norman had no clue what that was, so the rest of us got a good laugh at his expense. Too bad, the kid needs to get the hell out of the gene pool.
Then, you know because we weren't impressed enough with the previous tale, he told of "his friends" wrapping the seat belt around the steering wheel of the car with it turned all the way to one side, then running it in circles in the middle of a corn field with a brick on the pedal. Then they shoot the crap out of it till it won't run anymore. Apparently that is all fine and dandy till somebody shoots the seat belt. Then you have to watch out. Well no shit dumbass. How many stupid ideas can you pile up on top of each other before something crazy happens? Seriously. What a dumbass. The whole pack of them, him and his mentally insufficient friends.
Every last holiday for the past three years, nothing but stupid has flown out of this kids mouth. (I call him a kid, but I think he's 20) stupid, stupid, stupid.
Maybe one of these years he won't be alive to tell the tales. Sounds harsh, but seriously, the kid is a complete moron who is a serious waste of space, air and food.
This Thanksgiving I was (and still am) thankful that he has not bred. That is the last thing we need is more of him and his brilliance.
We shall call him "Norman" to protect his stupidity errr...identity.
All of us kids are catching up on the latest with each others jobs, etc. when my stupid ass tool of a cousin Norman pipes up about how he has this AK that he and his friends use to shoot up cars that they don't want anymore. Granted, it's their own stuff they are wrecking, so that's OK I guess, I wouldn't do it in a million years, but whatever, then I said "Well, as long as you aren't shooting steel jacketed ammo, now THAT would be stupid." His reply was "oh hell yeah, that's the best, you can crack the block with those!!" What. A. Tool. Then I just looked at the others and announced that we are sitting by a future Darwin Award winner. Norman had no clue what that was, so the rest of us got a good laugh at his expense. Too bad, the kid needs to get the hell out of the gene pool.
Then, you know because we weren't impressed enough with the previous tale, he told of "his friends" wrapping the seat belt around the steering wheel of the car with it turned all the way to one side, then running it in circles in the middle of a corn field with a brick on the pedal. Then they shoot the crap out of it till it won't run anymore. Apparently that is all fine and dandy till somebody shoots the seat belt. Then you have to watch out. Well no shit dumbass. How many stupid ideas can you pile up on top of each other before something crazy happens? Seriously. What a dumbass. The whole pack of them, him and his mentally insufficient friends.
Every last holiday for the past three years, nothing but stupid has flown out of this kids mouth. (I call him a kid, but I think he's 20) stupid, stupid, stupid.
Maybe one of these years he won't be alive to tell the tales. Sounds harsh, but seriously, the kid is a complete moron who is a serious waste of space, air and food.
This Thanksgiving I was (and still am) thankful that he has not bred. That is the last thing we need is more of him and his brilliance.
posted by Sarah at
11:44 PM
