That's Not Very Nice!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Couldn't Help It........

Well I guess I have been gone awhile. Quite a long time in fact in the land of blogs, so here is what happened:

I was minding my own business on March 30th, walking out to the garage, when all of a sudden I was approached by 17, YES 17 ferel cats. One thing led to another, and I was carried by these mighty beasts to a stolen UPS truck waiting in the alley.

Once in this truck, I was tied up by them with purple yarn they stole in the night from the local nursing home, and driven to the local wal-smart. There is where I met my doom. Ordered by the cat leader "Snaggletooth", I was sent to the store to purchase 2 carts of dry meow mix, 1 cart of cans of salmon canned food, and another cart of coffee creamer from the dairy case.

The bill came to a healthy $420.82. So I put it on my visa card as Snaggletooth had advised earlier, as I usually have about $4.50 on me at any given time. I proceeded to drive these many carts out to the parking lot, back to the stolen ups truck, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.........

Dogs. Lots of big, big DOGS everywhere! So there was my chance to escape from my captors!!

I ran home, and to my surprise, sitting at my kitchen table was Bob Sagett! So I said "Get out of my kitchen, I hated you on Funniest Videos!!" And he said "Get back to Snaggletooth and the gang." Damn. Bob Sagett foiled my safe return.

So, back to the van I go, with a stick to scare the dogs away. Snaggletooth has now decided that since I have thumbs, I am quite a valuable hostage, and puts me to work.

So I have spent over a month fishing down by the river, catching fresh fish for a ups truck full of dangerous, ferel cats.

Uhhh....SERIOUS!! Well maybe I was just doing lots, and lots of other stuff.