Finding Out The Hard Way

Ahhh.

A great mystery was solved today, but I didn't really know it was a mystery in the first place, so it was more like a mystery/surprise. Wow. That was a mouthful right there.......

So, the mighty Shorty is five years old now-a-days, and doing many things himself, and most of the time willingly. So, last night when he was griping about being thirsty, I told him there was still a glass of milk in the fridge from earlier, or he could crack open a juice bag and have that. So, he disappears into the house (we were on the porch at the time) only to emerge about 15 minutes later still trying to mooch pop from me. So, I said "We are not going to argue about this anymore! You go drink the stuff you already have!" And I got this weird blank stare. Accompanied by a uncomfortable pause.

"But Mommy, what I really am thirsty for is Diet Pepsi, because I really like it so much. I'm going to share your Diet Pepsi."

"No! Go drink your own stuff!"

"I drank my juice already. Now I'm thirsty for Diet Pepsi because it is good."

Sure enough, the juice bag is gone from the fridge, so I share my pop with him, never figuring I would question the prior sequence of events. Till this morning I see the juice bag in the garbage with a slit cut in the side of it, with the tiny straw coming out of this peculiar slit.

(ME) "Hey Shorty, is this how you opened the juice bag?"

(Shorty) "Yes."

(ME) "How well did that work? Did it make a mess?"

(Shorty) "Yeaaaaaah Mommy, but...........I cleaned it all up. Don't worry."

*uncomfortable pause*

(ME) "Where did the mess happen?"
(Scared shitless now for fear there is an entire juice bags worth of juice under a rug somewhere)

(Shorty) "Oh, on the coffee table, and I used lots of napkins, and then I used the hair dryer too."

(Me) "Why did you use the hair dryer?" (Trying my best to sound casual as to not scare him)

(Shorty) "Weeeeellllll.....Because there was just sooooo much juice."

(Me) "How did the hair dryer work out for you? Did it clean up the mess?"

(Shorty) "Not reallllly.....but sortof ok kinda."

(ME) "Huh. Next time there is a big spill are you going to find more napkins or paper towels or an adult instead of using the the hair dryer?"

(Shorty) "Yeah. (Insert pause here) It just didn't clean it good."

(ME) "I'll bet it didn't. I'm glad you told me about that so I don't try to clean juice with a hair dryer. It'll save me the trouble of finding out the hard way, huh?"

(Shorty) "You're welcome."

YOU'RE WELCOME??

You can never underestimate a five year old. And the hair dryer is getting locked up. It is hard to get seriously angry about this. Ack, kids.......