That's Not Very Nice!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Finding Out The Hard Way


A great mystery was solved today, but I didn't really know it was a mystery in the first place, so it was more like a mystery/surprise. Wow. That was a mouthful right there.......

So, the mighty Shorty is five years old now-a-days, and doing many things himself, and most of the time willingly. So, last night when he was griping about being thirsty, I told him there was still a glass of milk in the fridge from earlier, or he could crack open a juice bag and have that. So, he disappears into the house (we were on the porch at the time) only to emerge about 15 minutes later still trying to mooch pop from me. So, I said "We are not going to argue about this anymore! You go drink the stuff you already have!" And I got this weird blank stare. Accompanied by a uncomfortable pause.

"But Mommy, what I really am thirsty for is Diet Pepsi, because I really like it so much. I'm going to share your Diet Pepsi."

"No! Go drink your own stuff!"

"I drank my juice already. Now I'm thirsty for Diet Pepsi because it is good."

Sure enough, the juice bag is gone from the fridge, so I share my pop with him, never figuring I would question the prior sequence of events. Till this morning I see the juice bag in the garbage with a slit cut in the side of it, with the tiny straw coming out of this peculiar slit.

(ME) "Hey Shorty, is this how you opened the juice bag?"

(Shorty) "Yes."

(ME) "How well did that work? Did it make a mess?"

(Shorty) "Yeaaaaaah Mommy, but...........I cleaned it all up. Don't worry."

*uncomfortable pause*

(ME) "Where did the mess happen?"
(Scared shitless now for fear there is an entire juice bags worth of juice under a rug somewhere)

(Shorty) "Oh, on the coffee table, and I used lots of napkins, and then I used the hair dryer too."

(Me) "Why did you use the hair dryer?" (Trying my best to sound casual as to not scare him)

(Shorty) "Weeeeellllll.....Because there was just sooooo much juice."

(Me) "How did the hair dryer work out for you? Did it clean up the mess?"

(Shorty) "Not reallllly.....but sortof ok kinda."

(ME) "Huh. Next time there is a big spill are you going to find more napkins or paper towels or an adult instead of using the the hair dryer?"

(Shorty) "Yeah. (Insert pause here) It just didn't clean it good."

(ME) "I'll bet it didn't. I'm glad you told me about that so I don't try to clean juice with a hair dryer. It'll save me the trouble of finding out the hard way, huh?"

(Shorty) "You're welcome."


You can never underestimate a five year old. And the hair dryer is getting locked up. It is hard to get seriously angry about this. Ack, kids.......

Friday, August 18, 2006

Barrel of Monkeys

Now, I have to thank TIG from Drunken Wisdom for his dryer ridin' story he shared today. It reminded me of my own tale to tell...

It was a dark and stormy Thursday night long long ago (it really was). My future Husband (we didn't start dating till like 3 years later) and I went with his mom on her weekly adventure to the local laundro-mat, since they were new to town and were renting till they bought a house. Now, you get a couple of 14 year olds bored, and things just happen.

After being there for about an hour or so, we had gotten bored, and in the historic nature of kids that age, that is not a very good thing. So as his mother which we shall call "Tough Cookie" throughout this story. Because she tries soooo hard to be a tough cookie, but it almost never works out for her. Still doesn't to this day. Anyway, since it has always been highly entertaining to try and upset still is....anyway...

So as she had her back turned folding a fresh load of laundry, fast as a flash my future husband was in a dryer. As we noticed the roominess of the luxury machine, he urged me to come in there and join him. So since the dryer was already half-occupied, it took a bit for me to fold myself up and get on in there. Kids are persistent however, and the two of us were crammed in there like a couple of hostages in the trunk of an economy car. One of us was able to reach out and get the dryer door/window almost closed, and then things got started. We coordinated our mass to get the dryer tub unwillingly rocking back and forth, in a vain attempt to get the machine to actually spin. We were in there sweating like a couple of hobos, and giggling like little girls when all of a sudden who do we see in the window......

Tough Cookie. Hands on the hips, lips pursed, breathing heavy, just standing there looking at this freak show in progress. But her eyes, oh the EYES DON'T LIE!! We made her day.

Then of course we had to try and get out of this thing (which is harder than getting in when it is two people in there) because it is just like trying to pull one monkey out of a barrel of monkeys. All tangled up we were. I asked for assistance from her, and her reply was "You two delinquents got yourselves into that mess, you can figure out how to get yourselves out". Thanks Tough Cookie. Then we got the "I can't take the two of you anywhere" speech, to which we both wholeheartedly agreed with her. Which didn't help any.

And without any other proper supervision for us, (Yes we really did need supervision) the very next week she took us right back to the laundro-mat to reek more havoc.

And the very next week there was a OUT OF ORDER sign stuck to our dryer. We have NO IDEA why.

Monday, August 14, 2006

What In The World!?!?

OK, so we still have the little kittens here, all 4 of the fuzzy guys. I have been working on getting them tame, and it is working great! Most of them have been letting me pet them all over their bodies, only while they eat, and they come when I call for them. Now I need to somehow get them to actually want me to pet them instead of them just putting up with me because they really, really want to eat. Any ideas on that, please let me know.......

So, last night I was cleaning out a room in the basement, and went outside to throw some icky boxes outside, when I see this big yellow man cat (we have seen this fella before) wandering through the neighbors garden, with the kittens in tow!! They were all tails up happy, and following him around all single file while they took their garden adventure. What is up with that?!? I am certain that this cat is a male, and what on earth would possess him to take interest in these kittens? I am simply amazed. Crazy.

I am certainly glad that they have a "mentor". Maybe there is a underground "Big Brother Program" for cats? Maybe the yellow cat is slightly genderly confused? Maybe the yellow cat isn't a boy at all, and what I saw is actually pollen buildup on his butt from hunting so much in gardens, and it's a girl cat after all? Well maybe. Come on folks, MAYBE?

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Well, I'm pretty excited! I'm off on a adventure to visit some good folks. I have never driven this far away all by myself, this should be fun. Shorty likes listening to music really loud in the car and wants me to sing every song, but I don't know the words to every song and that brings him great irritation. He especially likes one of the new Red Hot Chili Peppers songs, and I have to agree, It is pretty jivey. Even though I don't know all of the words yet.

Now I have to find my maps, and throw some clothes in a bag and grab my beer (not to drink in the car, duh, for when I get there) , and I'll be off! Vrooom...