That's Not Very Nice!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Might Cry

You Are 72% Bitchy
While you may not think of yourself as the ice queen, admit it, you're often in a bad mood.And it's those around you who often bear the brunt of your annoyance, even if they haven't done anything wrong!

Lovely, lovely.

(I stole this from Richmond, and I'm O.K. with that.)

Whew, indeed I expetced better than a 'C' in Bitchy Class.


Now, who can I yell at........

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"Completely Harmless"

Well, apparently my son is on a quest to 'disprove' the "Completely Harmless" feature of the awesome Potato gun.

(See Post Below)

I'm going to be really ticked off if I have to take one of the cats to the vet because of rotting potato pellets in the ear.

And before you even think of it, YES, my cats adore my son, and pretty much let him do anything he wants to them. Which is the big problem. They don't have the sense to get outta the way. They just don't care. In fact they purr and lay down in order to be used as target practice.

Now, if I could only get the cats to wear little helmets, or at the very least shower caps to deflect from their funnel-like ears.........

Monday, August 20, 2007

Here's a Tater, Now Go Outside With that

I just have to tell you all (all 6 of you, I know....) about this cool toy my son got at the local county fair.

For $3.00.

And it came with one free potato.

A Potato Gun. It shoots harmless Potato Pellets (says the package).

Completely Harmless, Never wears Out, Sturdy construction, 300 shots from one potato (Also says the package)

You just jam the end of the gun into a potato, and break off in a downward motion and the gun is loaded! More than 300 shots from one potato!

And the coolest part of all.......SHOOTS 50 FEET!! Yes, folks, it does.

I am truly impressed. it is not often that you can hand a 6 year old a potato, and tell them to go have fun.

Saturday, August 18, 2007


Well, they are here.

After last time, he said it would never happen again.

Harvey and TNT rolled up----TNT, fresh as a daisy, pops out of the drivers seat--HI GUYS!!

Harvey, on the other hand, opens the passenger door, drunk as a skunk-Beer cans spilling out onto my driveway, and I'm all like "Harvey, WHAT THE HELL????" As he starts kicking the cans under the car....


And he is all like "What the hell, whatever, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!" In a screechy womany voice.

Goddamn, here we go again.

Friday, August 17, 2007

My Favorite Invention (Today, Not of All Time)

The glorious Tilt-A-Whirl.

Yay for Tilt-A-Whirls!!!

Both tilt, AND whirl, in one rusty, squeaky unit.

A masterpiece!!

(Yes, I went to the fair)


Friday, August 10, 2007

Papersackery (NEW WORD I MADE UP)

Here is a rant for ya.

Do grocery stores train their employees how to properly pack a paper sack? The zombified teens I have had encounters with do a crappy-ass job of stuffing groceries in a plastic bag, but....THE HORROR...when you ask for paper, they are almost offended, and can't hardly do it. It's like I just asked them to grease up my wagon wheel, or skin a frickin' squirrel or something. This is not so tricky kids, if you pay one bit of attention to the task at hand, which is bagging the groceries in a somewhat sensible manner. Now, this is what I purchased this evening:

1 Freshetta frozen pizza

1 sack of tortilla chips

1 12 pk of Diet Pepsi

3 packages of brats, (on sale for $2.79, good deal)

2 16 pack packages of corn dogs (also on sale for $3.99, good deal)

1 5# sack of taters

4 packages of cheese singles ($0.99 each, WAY good deal)

and a 2 pack of frozen pie crusts.

The "Bag Boy" packs the first bag: Pizza, 2 large boxes of corn dogs, AND on top, the sack of potatoes. The handles can no longer be brought together to be held with one hand, and it weighs 82 lbs.

second bag: brats, cheese, and the pie crusts put in the short way, not the long way (I don't know how else to explain it), so that when you grab the sack by the handles, it compromises the shape of the item and makes cracks and crap so the pie will suck. That is all for that bag.

third bag: chips. That's it. I am surprised he did not try to put the 12 pk of pop in with the chips to make chip dust.

I know it can be hard, kids, but a little bit of pride in your work would be good. I mean, I would rather bag my own groceries than deal with the "convenience" of your unskilled bagmanship. It's not a convenience, it's a pain in the ass.

Please, PLEASE go home and practice with your Mom in the kitchen with her groceries, she will show you how it's done. Because back in the day, all there was was paper bags, and you had to do it right or the old ladies would raise hell and get your boss involved for sucking at your job. Back then you even had to smile. And mean it. AND......GASP!!!!......employees used to have to tuck their shirts in! You think I'm pulling your leg, by seriously, it's true!

Anyway, I am suspecting that stores do not train their employees in the fine art of papersackery.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Good Good Stuff!

I had to chuckle at this one.

You know the people, everyone knows someone who is "caffeine sensitive". Good stuff, hope you like!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

One of Those Weeks Already

Oh Boy.........

Anyone out there know how to remove glitter silly putty from a bath towel?