That's Not Very Nice!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


I had a fabulous day today, a little shopping, a little nothing, a lot of FUN!

Anyway, I had a good day, and picked up a beautiful round silver platter w/ ornate cutout design all the way around that I'm having a pain trying to find any info on it. It's 12" across, and marked on the bottom "FORBES SILVER CO. U.S.A. QUADRUPLE" All in a circle, with an eagles head in the middle, aimed to the right. Also stamped below the mark is the number 28, and then below that is stamped YL9.

Any info would be appreciated as to the date of manufacture, based on the marking. I am not a collector of silver items, so I don't have the books here that would tell me what I'm looking for, and eBay is a bad place to do research. Any help to send me in the right direction would be great. I just want to know what exactly I have.

Now, back to writing crappy poems and googleing this dang FORBES company....

Plumbers Crack

Plumbers crack, plumbers crack,

Mighty is your mat of hair.

Scaring children at the fair.

Your job indeed, you do well.

You keep those pants...way down low,

so I don't miss the horror show.

Mighty is.....thy plumbers crack.

We will be skipping the plunger poem, and heading right off to this one. I dedicate this fine poem to Oddybobo, as she requested it!

Toilet Brush

Toilet brush, toilet brush, how do you do?

The duty that is yours, brave I shall say

Doing what you do, day after day.

The things you have smelled, icky and bad

I appreciate you whole-heartedly, not just a tad.

Thank you dear toilet brush, I rarely say,

but I do now, here, and today.

Man, I should write greeting cards. *snicker* Next one will be about the plunger.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Are You Happy to See Me?!?

Kids are hilarious. They just call em' as they see 'em. I'll give you an example:

We showed up at our friends house on Friday to drop Shorty off with their older kids (don't worry, like WAY older, 13), and they have a little boy that Shorty loves to play with, that we will call Nelson. So we walk in, and Nelson, age 3, pops out of nowhere...

Nelson: Hi Shorty, It's me, Nelson.

Shorty: Hi Nelson!!

Nelson: Are you happy to see me?!?

Shorty: Yeah!!

And off they run, reeking havoc and destruction. We just found it hilarious. Maybe you had to be there, but it really was cute!


Hooray! I has a fantastic, superdedooper weekend!

Yay! Friday I went to the bar with my husband, and we had a blast! Drinking, dancing, yay hoorah! I even got him to dance with me for the first time since Senior Prom. Holy smokes!

Then Saturday was pretty kick ass, as we both kinda did our own thing, I cleaned the house, and did a crapload of laundry, and took a nap. It was a pretty good day.

Then on Sunday we had the In-Laws over, and it was a great time. Shorty was super good, and made me real proud. It's always good when you can start to see your child become a lot more rational, and less spazzy. The boy is growing up!

We burned through 3 1/2 pots of coffee, 2/3 of a loaf of bananna bread, a whole heap of mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and *cringe* one of those turkey meatloaf/roast things *cringe again*. (I forgot to defrost meat for the meal, and that's what we were stuck with.)

Kick ass! Happy Monday to you!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

About Damn Time!!

Looks like Harvey spawned another Bad Example Family member, and this time it is his very own brother Tom! Yay Uncle Tom! (I will put a disclaimer on this, I married into the family, so Harvey, and Tom aren't my real Uncles, and I'm pretty sure neither one of them wants to claim me, but too bad. Blame your silly nephew for marrying me. You better just get used to me.)

But seriously, he is a great guy, and I'm glad Harvey finally forced...err...I mean convinced him to start a blog. NoWhere News. Awesome!!

Welcome to the Bad Example Family Tom!!!

Good Morning Bill...err...John...Wwwhat's Yer Name?

Do you ever wonder why they don't sell toiletry kits in womens bathrooms at the bar? I would think they would sell well to the women who are going to go home with a guy unexpectantly. Just a small little kit with a toothbrush, toothpaste, tiny deodorant, maybe a perfume sample, and some asprin.

I've seen the gals that have been hunting for a man all night. Actually, nevermind. They probably keep a bag packed in their car for such occasions. Nevermind.

Hmmmm....What do you think?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Dear AARP,

Dear Sir or Madame at AARP,

Please stop sending me mail. I am not even 30 years old, and I am on your mailing list. Lets just stop wasting time and resources, both yours and mine.

If you got my name and address from one of my friends, because it was my birthday recently, please tell me who it was.

I will not beat them with a toilet brush, and shave "Ice, Ice, Baby" into the back of their head with a beard trimmer. I will not fill the back of their truck with roadkill. I will not fill their front step with fresh pig crap. I will not sign them up for the readers digest condensed book club. I will however, tell them that it wasn't funny, and they better watch it on their birthday...

Seriously, I'm getting stuff from the AARP, and it kinda sucks.

I'm a Hobo Apparently

Shorty announced to me that he has no mommy. So I replied "Well, who am I then?"

"You are the lady that comes for food and makes hot chocolate for me."

Nice. My career as the underappreciated hobo that Daddy lets live here begins...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Rules For Thy Husband...

Just for the fun of it, I am going to write up a list of rules for my husband to abide by. Why, you say? Because it's funny. And this guy did it for his wife, and I think I can do better.

1) You will make eye contact with me while I am talking to you. I don't want to have to say "Look at me when I'm fu**ing talking to you!!" anymore.

2) When I tell you that something is broken, it's broke. I'm not dumb. Go fix it instead of asking a million questions that I can't answer. Just go fix it. You are the man, and it's your job. Get crackin'.

3) When someone comes to the door selling us religion, just tell them to go away. Don't chat with them, don't take their booklet, just tell them to get their pimpin' selves off the property. I hate it when they come back for you when I'm not home, and *I* have to be a dick to them.

4) When the cats do stuff you don't like, don't blame it on me. They are crazy, and you like them. Say it.

5) Quit cleaning the guns in the bedroom. Seriously.

6) When the car gets stuck in the yard, don't try to pelt the side of the house with a rooster tail of mud. The neighbors have enough to talk about.

7) When you are waiting in the car for me, don't play with the power locks, and lock me out, and then un-lock it, then lock it as soon as I reach for the handle. Any more of that, and you will wish you had never taught me how to punch someone and make it hurt.

8) If you are reading one of my books, be careful with it. If you break a binding on one of my books, the price to pay will be high. To the tune of skulls crackin'.

9) If I fall down in the yard/house/down steps/ the first thing you will do is ask me if I'm OK. Not laugh your ass off.

10) No more giving me snuggies that tear the elastic off my underpants. I will tolerate it no longer. And it wastes perfectly good underpants.

Now, I'd rather have my spouse abide by those rules anyday, rather than Mr. Crazymelons psycho list. Pfft...anyday...

Obey or ELSE!

Found something funny over at Freedom Folks place, about a Iowa man who wrote up a contract for all of the things he wants his wife to do during their marriage. Funny in theory....till you read the contract. I do believe the guy is a little (or a lot) nuts. This is where you can read the contract.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Talked to my Mom today, and we were discussing how my in-laws were coming to visit this weekend. She reacted strangely, and I don't know what to make of it.

She asked me why they were coming. I told her it was to visit.

"They are coming just to visit?" She asked. "Yes. Why else would they come here?" I replied.

"Wow. How nice of them to come just to visit"

What the hell is that? Why else would someone come to visit? Err...Duh...TO VISIT!! It's funny how when MY parents come over there needs to be a friggin' itinerary for the day or else they get all twitchy and just sit around staring at the wall not attempting to make conversation, but when we have other people over, they seem to go with the flow great, conversation flows like water, and we don't have to have "entertainment" for them. ManOman. So, what do I make of that?

Meme Time!

Looks like the gal over at MathCog Idiocy nailed me with another meme. Yay. Thanks I guess. :-)

For Movies, Black and white, or color? Color, all the way.

What is the one single subject that bores you near to death? Electricity and all thoeries to do with it.

MP3's, CD's, Tapes. or records? The sound quality of a record cannot be beat, there is a certain tone or beefyness to it, but due to the not user friendliness, I will have to choose CD's.

You are handed one first class plane ticket to anywhere in the world and 10 million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you never tell anyone where you are going. That includes, friends, everyone. Do you take the money and run? Nope. If you don't have your family and friends, you've got nothin'.

What do you consider the worlds most pressing issue right now? No way Jose. Not going there. Besides, there are too many to pick.

How would you rectify the pressing issue? Rect...What? Just kidding. Oh, that wasn't funny. Sorry.

If given the chance to go back and change one thing about your life, what would you change? I would have never started smoking.

If you were given the chance to change one event in world history, what would it be. That's just not smart.

A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opery? Opera. I've got a good idea what the Grand Ole' Opery is all about, and I'd rather get all dressed up for the opera.

What is the one great unsolved crime you would like to see solved? Where oh where is Jimmy Hoffa? Hmmm...

One famous author can come to dinner with you, who would that be? What would you serve? Laura Ingalls Wilder. And I would serve Ham, scallopped potatoes, and fresh green beans. Apple crisp for dessert.

You discover that John Lennon was right, and there is no Hell below, and the only thing above us is sky, what would be the first immoral thing thing you do? I wouldn't change the way I live my life at all. That's how I live it right now. You don't need the fear of your afterlife to be a moral person.

I'm not tagging anybody because I'm just that lazy. Sorry!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Meme Fairy is Beating The Living Crap Out Of Me!!

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Hmmm...This is tough. Yay Richmond. Thanks. :-)

Here we go:
Ring of Fire, by Johnny Cash

Sweet Home Alabama, by Lynyrd Skynard

Free Bird, by Lynyrd Skynard

Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting, by ?????? (I don't even know the real name of the song) It makes me want to get up and dance every time I hear it. I know. I'm lame.

And the last three will have to be any of the songs on the Type O Negative album "Bloody Kisses" except the Jungle song, or the "kill all the white people" song. Those two songs suck in my opinion. Fantastic live show as well.

My music tastes vary, I like a lot of music. No jazz. Anything but jazz.

I'm not tagging others with this one, you all can rest easy.

Hot Trailer Action...

I had to go to the feed mill today and get corn for the stove, and my husband had pulled the truck out front for me, but left the trailer attached. We discussed it last night, and he said I would be able to get the trailer unhooked so I wouldn't have to cart that thing around to the feed mill. OK, I figured that since he had the confidence in me that I was strong enough to do this I would be fine.

I'm plenty strong, but I have no grip strength in my hands. I was fine till I had to unplug the trailer wiring. I was out in the street fighting this connecter with all I had. The dirty SOB wouldn't budge. I must have fought with it for 10 minutes. I finally got it unplugged, and by that time I was seriously pissed. So I picked up the toungue of the trailer off the ball hitch and roll it back a bit....And the damn thing kept rolling. Yup. There goes the trailer slowly heading down the street. Quick as I am, I grab a chunk of old railroad tie out of the back of the truck and toss it behind the crank dealie stand (No clue what the real name is for it), and that slowed it way down. Then I grabbed a bigger chunk of tie, and ran to the back of the trailer and put it behind the tire. A definate moment of panic had happened right there, no question.

All went well from there on out, thankfully. It would have not been a fun day had that trailer gone zipping down the street, into the neighbors house. Or knowing my luck, it would have run over a mob of elderly, out for an afternoon stroll.

Electrical Interference...Boo.

A big sorry goes out to all of my regular readers, for not posting the past few days. Both of you will be fine I'm sure.

Anyway, my phone and dial-up hasn't been working right lately, there would be intermittent scratchy noises like some guy rubbing a beard on the receiver of the phone. It would happen sometimes when I was connecting to the internet, sometimes while I was on the phone. When it happened while I was on the internet, sometimes I would loose my connection. Well, yesterday I tried to get on the internet, and the computer couldn't even try to dial, as there was no dial tone at all. Pick up the phone. Nothing. So all day yesterday I had nothing, no cell phone (because I don't have one of those evil things), computer, regular tele, nothing.

Today I didn't even try to use the computer, I picked up the phone and called my folks quick to see if it was too good to be true. Works fine. So then I called the phone company to come check the lines outside. The gal I got on the phone was real nice and suggested that I unplug all the phones in the house that plug into electricity (answering machine, cordless, etc.), because apparently what I was describing sounds like electrical interference. Huh. So I told her not to send a man out, and I would do as she suggested. So as soon as I got off the phone with her, I tried to connect on the internet, to e-mail my husband and by golly, it puked again. No dial tone.

Son.of.a bitch. So I unplugged the cordless right here next to the computer. What do you know, everything works now. Hell yeah! So I am happy. Very happy. Stupid phone.

So, that's where I have been. Now I don't have to write Harvey a LETTER, and send it in the MAIL, asking him to write a post telling folks that I didn't fall in a well, or get eaten by a pack of rabid bunnies, or overdose on Captain Crunch. Just a crappy ass phone to blame. Unless it is all just a coincedince, and if that's the case, it'll be a while before you hear from me again.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Like Burning Hair...

Ahhh.....Jealousy.....Smells a little like burning hair.....

Anyway, most of the cool kids are going to the Wolf Park blogmeet, and it's killing me. Slowly killing...rocking in the corner...wiping my tears on the drapes...I can't make it to this one. I had a great time at the last blogmeet, maybe it didn't show, but it really was a blast!

I will live, but I am still a bit jealous. It helps ease the pain knowing that it will be colder than all get out, and that Contagion has some funky eye thing going on that I'd rather not catch (but seriously, rumor on the street says it's not contagious) , but other than that, the times will be fun that I am sure of.

Instead of freezing my arse off, I will be sitting here watching my husband open up his shipment of goods he ordered the other day from Midway. They arrived today just in time for the weekend. He is excited!

I am going to go back to rocking in the corner, wiping my tears on the drapes, and shaking my fist...



Windchill readings of -30 to -45 today!! That's nippy.

I made something of an emergency bag last night for my husbands car with snowpants, scarf, giant mittens, socks, & candles w/ matches.

He normally wears a hat and gloves, and scarf, and another fuzzy neck thingie, so he dresses pretty appropriately, except I worry that our stationwagon will choose this bitter cold time to self destruct, and I don't want my husband to be totally screwed. I personally wouldn't be surprised if the wagon chucks some parts today, as that car seems to have a mind of it's own. It's a little spooky.

It never hurts to be prepared.

Dream - O - Rama

Had a dream last night, and it was funny stuff.

It was staged at a school with a gymnasium, but at the same time, it was also the first job I ever had (flower shop). Didn't make a whole lot of sense to me either, except there had been some major catastrophy, and lots and lots of funeral flowers were needed, and the school was the only place big enough to make all of those arrangements.

The place was full of kids (being a school and all), but I was an adult (sort of), so I was coming in to work to make stuff, and all she (my hippie boss) would let me do was make bows, and corsages for other stuff, she wouldn't let me touch any of the funeral stuff. Anyway, it pissed me off to no end, because I'm plenty good at arranging to be doing funeral flowers, but yet she wasn't trusting me to do it.

So then the dream snapped into me being about 14 or 15 years old, and horsing around in the gym with my husband at that same age (which was really creepy, strangly even in the dream because I remembered him exactly, right down to the broken glasses, jacket, hair, shoes. It was REALLY like going back in time), and a couple of other kids I knew from school, and the one got hurt in the beginning of the day, and I took him to the hospital to get fixed up, and then later in the day I had to take him back to the hospital because we all had some brilliant plan to alter the game of dodge ball, to where there was no ball, and all the people (dodgers) had to shut their eyes, as someone ran towards them, they had to keep their eyes shut and pay attention to the sound of the person running, and dodge accordingly. Well according to my dream, that is a terrible idea. So I took him to the hospital a second time. Poor kid. I didn't mean to bust his head open like that.

*Back to being an adult* So I went into the bosses office to tell her where I was going, and she is sitting there in front of the computer, using an elementary hooked on phonics type program, and failing miserably, and all pissed of. It was like second grader reading and spelling stuff. And she just sucked ass at it. I was disgusted, and found great ammts. of humor in it.

That's it. Maybe there was more, but I can't remember.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Windchill Advisory

Earlier tonight there was a windchill advisory for my area because the windchill was going to be in the -38 range, which I must say stings a bit.

I went on the Weather Channel website to read the warning, and after all the bla bla cold bla wind bla hypothermia bla bla frostbite bla bla, there was one last sentence.

"Remember to wear a hat and gloves"

Well no sh*t . Geez. Why!? Why did they add that? Anyone dumb enough to go outside after reading that the windchill could be -38 with no hat or gloves deserves to loose their ears. Cripes Almighty, why?! As a public service? Screw that. Anyone dumb enough to not wear a hat or gloves outside tonight probably can't read the message anyway, or they have round the clock care, and the caregiver knows better than to let them outside without a cap and gloves.

Anyway, it really pissed me off. I'm done venting now. I hate being told the obvious. Grrr...

He Finally Went Pro

We have a nick-name for our man cat Sally. I have wrote about him before, about how he has earned the name "The Crippler".

He used to be content to rest his rotund 20 lb meaty self of my knee, or ankle, or anywhere that can cause pain that lasts and lasts. Note, he only "cripples" me at night if I have a blanket on. Won't have anything to do with me if I am sitting in a chair.

Woke up the other morning to a strange crippling sensation in my shoulder, and most of my upper body. Realized that Sally was perched on my shoulder as I was sleeping. 20 lbs of giant crippling cat, slowly smashing the life out of me with his obeseness. What I can't figure out is how he got up there without me knowing about it, because when he walks on you it feels like being stabbed with a pool cue. Just goes to show that he is honing his crippling skills, unfortunately for me I'd say he has gone Pro. Yay for Sally. Boo for me.

Shorty Tale...

Hubby and I were discussing a large shipment of goods that he ordered the other night, and how excited he was that they might arrive on Friday, just in time for the weekend. We just kept calling it "the shipment".

Well, Shorty apparently mis-heard what we were saying, or he was trying to be funny, we don't know, but he was in the living room yelling "I can't wait for my sh*t" and "I love sh*t"! and "My sh*t will be here soon...Hooray"! While jumping on the couch.

We were in the kitchen listening to the horror in the living room, hoping he would stop on his own because his audience left, when we hear "Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, I love sh*t!" In his musical singing voice.

There comes a point where you just have to make it stop, so this is what we did. Hubby asked Shorty what the heck he was saying, Shorty said he didn't know, he was just being funny. Hubby asked him if he knew what that word meant, and Shorty said he didn't. So Mike told him that we didn't know either, and to quit using words that nobody knows what they mean, because it's not funny. He quit right then.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Bring it On!

Cripes, I am so damn excited!!

There is a whole heap o' snow coming my way, and I just can't wait! They are talking up to a foot in places south of me, and I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I will get something close to that. Bring it on!!

What does one do to prepare for heaps and heaps of snow?

*Find good boots and snowpants in closet
*Make sure the shovel is where it belongs, so nobody has to tromp all over to find it.
*Make sure we have enough toilet paper so we don't have to drive far for something dumb.
*We always have lots of food, so that's not an issue. We are set for a good month, easily.
*Make sure Charlie the garage cat is safe and sound in the garage, so he isn't left to huddle in a snowbank. I do worry about him.

That's about it. I'm ready and waiting. I should not get myself so wriled up about it, because then it seems we get only an inch or two, but I WANT IT!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines Day Post

I refuse to write anything about this holiday, as it is lame and such a thinly veiled marketing spoof it doesn't deserve the attention. There.

That said, I finally have it in me to post again.

It was my Birthday recently, and so my husband was nice enough to watch the little man for me. For 3, yes 3 days!

So on Friday I drank till I barfed in my buddies driveway, then went to bed. I gotta find that line where I don't barf in the driveway. I haven't found it yet. Just seems I fill up till I can hold no more. Not good. I have TONS of fun, don't get me wrong, but I am too old to be barfing in driveways. I should have a handle on this by now.

Saturday I was surprisingly alert and not that sick, and I went to my in-laws. That was fun. It actually was. Had Burger King for breakfast, Arbys for lunch, and Subway for dinner. You can't shake a stick at that. (I love fast food, but only eat it about once a month.) I slept there Saturday night, and woke up to their dog putting a wet stuffed animal in my face because she wanted to play. Good Morning dog drool!

Sunday afternoon I met up with my husband and the boy at my parents house, and took over my Motherly duties. Spent the day at parents house bored out of my skull, then spent the night there too. My Dad kept me up till 3am chatting & watching the Olympics (Dad likes the Olympics, and I don't really give a crap about them). It was nice to actually chat with my Dad as he is generally crabby, and was not that night.

Then mom and I went to my great Grandmas funeral, and then to my Grandmas house afterwards. 30 people in a 2 bedroom rambler in the middle of winter is quite a sight. Food galore too. I don't know how she did it. Must be one of those seasoned old lady skills I have yet to acquire. Wow.

All in all, I had a fantastic weekend, with most of my favorite people. Wish my Husband could have been there to enjoy some free time with me, but other than that it was great. 'Tis great to get out every once in a while. It is also nice to leave for long enough time to be glad to be home again.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Harness Those Unruly Puppies


Hubby came home last night with something funny:

"The HR lady at work really needs to wear a bra."

Me: "What?!?! She wasn't wearing a bra?"

"No, and she seemed to be cold."

Me: "Hahahahahh!!! Were you offended by her appendages, you poor thing?"

"A little bit, you know, normally you would put in a word with HR about something like this, but who do you tell when it is the HR lady being offensive?"

Me: "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. How old is she? Is she at least hot?"

"She is not hot, and she is old enough to know better" "She had no business not wearing a bra. And it wasn't just me that noticed it, all the guys in my dept. did, so it's not just me being weird."

Me: "Well that's just funny."

"Not really."

Now, for real...What do you do about a HR type problem about the HR lady? Seriously. Not that he is going to tattle or anything, just a thought...


By Mike the husband:

I just thought I would clarify. I am not the type of person who would go running to the HR department because a co-worker has some unruly nipples. While it is quite distracting (much like a train wreck), I perfer to just not look. I brought it up last night for 2 reasons.

1) It was unsettling.

2) I wondered what an easily offended person would do when faced with this situation.

The nipples did not offend me at all. However, they did make me wish I was wearing saftey glasses at the time. Seriously, 1/4" easily.

Worry Not Tige!

Don't worry Tige, I'm not snubbing you about the 20 questions, I'm just lazy at homework & I'll get to it eventually!! Worry not!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Husband Beating

Contagion reminded me of a husband beating incident back in 1997. My boyfriend (now husband) and I were driving out to Sacramento Ca. to participate in a wedding in Reno (long story). We had decided to drive straight thru, just switching drivers when one got sleepy, so the other one could get some shut-eye.

Well, we left Wisconsin after he got done from work at 11:00 pm, and he drove till dawn. Then it was my turn, but as I had never driven anywhere ever, I had been too excited to sleep while he was driving. I took some caffeine pills, washed them down with cola, and drove through Nebraska and a little of Wyoming rocking in my seat and blathering nonsense from all the caffeine.

Then I was finally ready to sleep. I fell asleep immediately, and soundly, and when my husband tried to wake me to drive again, it wasn't pretty. I woke up pissed off. Apparently my husbands first attempt at waking me up failed, as I proceeded to take swings at his head with my fists of fury, eyes closed. He decided for the safety of all to continue driving rather than attempting to get me to wake up. So he drove a couple more hours, with the windows down, and the music blaring to keep himself alert, and all the while I slept like a baby.

(Funny thing about the music part: neither one of us remembered that when you get out in the middle of BF nowhere, there is no radio to speak of, and we forgot to bring along tapes. We found a Def Leopard tape and a worn out Metallica tape in the glove box to see us thru. It was rough.)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


I lost my Great Grandmother last night. She had been living in the nursing home for about 12 years, and went in there with sound mind and spirit, but with her body failing her. She always said that she didn't want to be that 100 year old woman at the home, that couldn't take care of herself at all anymore. Sadly for her, she was that woman, and made it to the ripe age of 104. She was very sad about that, and never wanted to make it to 100. She was ready to rest.

When I was little I would go visit my grandma & grandpa, and my Great Grandmother lived in the same town as them, and I would get sent over there to visit her. She would always greet me with a smile, and then set me up with some warm (I don't know why it was ALWAYS warm) grape juice in a jelly jar glass, some stale cookies, and sit in the kitchen with me and visit for a while. Her house was always kind of eerie quiet. No radio or TV on, always very tidy and clean.

On one particular visit, she took me upstairs to look at some books, and she told me to pick any three books of hers that I might like and I could keep them. I still have those, as they mean a lot to me. See, she was a school teacher all of her adult life, and had lots of children's books from back in the day, I think the ones I picked were from the 1930's. I do believe she taught well into the 1960's, as my mother remembers there always being melted crayons in the car during summer break.

For her, I am glad she can rest. I am glad she no longer has to be burdened with her failing body, and her (now) failing mind. I wish her the best in whatever happens next, and I hope she knows that she was very dearly loved and cherished. I do not feel sad for her, only happiness. She has been wanting to go for some time now, and I am glad she feels no more pain. After spending 104 years on this planet, what you really need is rest.

So on Monday I will say goodbye to the only person I will ever know that has seen Indians in the woods, lost brothers, sons, and grandsons in wars, seen the buffalo roam, lived through the Great Depression, seen America absorb electricity, telephones, radios, television, and cars. Amazing.


My husband cracks me up sometimes. He is generally an observant individual, but sometimes (because he is human) he goofs.

Last night he came home and was very hungry. He was having a hard time waiting the 20 minutes till dinner and was pacing, grazing on cookies and whatnot. Comes in and sits down by the computer with a clear sack and mentions how he is going to eat some sunflower seeds. Now that isn't unusual at all till I actually looked at him taking the twistie tie off of the bag, and it is clearly LENTILS. For a second I looked at him, but he wasn't joking, and before I could stop myself, I said "Hey, that's lentils dumbass". Why?!? WHY did I have to say anything? I would pay money to see him casually toss a handful of lentils into his mouth, and watch the horror of it on his face, and I had to go and tell him. Who's the dumbass now, huh?

Oh well. I try to be evil, but it rarely works out. I gotta work on that.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Super Cheap-O Hint of the Day

Ahh....yes. Had a wonderful weekend away from home, found some super deals at.... (oh you think I'm telling where I get awesome deals, nope) it's a secret place and I'm not telling.

I got 2 down jackets for my son, one for next year, and the other is for a couple of years from now. Wow, how much did they cost you say?!?! .25 cents each. Yup. Also picked up many sweatshirts, old navy shirts, t-shirts, etc. for the boy, and they were all .25 cents each. Man, you can't shake a stick at that. I'm just thrilled. Boys are hard on clothes, and at prices like that, YAY!!

But that is not my cheap-o hint of the day. This is:

Instead of buying hand soap in the dispenser, or even buying the refill bottles to refill your dispenser, I just take the cheapest dish soap I can buy, fill the dispenser half-way, then fill it the rest of the way with water, tip it up and down a few times to mix, and you are good to go. I decided to try this when Shorty was a baby, and I was constantly washing my hands because of diapers, barf, boogers, drool, etc...and we were going through a large refill bottle of the wal-mart brand every 2 weeks. Now I have it in all of the bottles because Shorty washes his hands, and you know how kids are with soap. Yeah, they don't have enough in their hand till it is dripping off their elbows, and I don't even cringe. It is so cheap, I could care less, I'm just glad he wants to wash his hands, we will work on the details of soap consumption later.

In fact, I'll bet you could thin the soap down even more with water and still have decent results, I just use 50/50, and it works fantastic.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Cheap-O Hint of The Day

I will be the first to admit that I am a cheapskate. I am cheap.

I have perfected avenues of cheapness that would make some people blush.

That said, I have a remarkable discovery. If you take slightly less of your regular liquid laundry soap (I prefer purex with color-safe bleach alternative), and a mere Tablespoon or so of the new Tide with Febreeze, you get some damn nice smelling clothes. Damn nice. Since you only use the Tide by the Tablespoon, it lasts for a long, long time, and you still get to buy the cheap soap, and enjoy the deliciousness of the smell of Tide with Febreeze.

Try it, you have nothing to lose, and combined with my previous hint of cutting the Bounce sheets in 1/4's, you can enjoy yummy clothes at a fraction of the price.

*Don't get me wrong, clothes washed in full strength Tide, and with a whole dryer sheet, smells intoxicating, but it's not cheap. My goal is cheap, smells nice, and works well.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I Do What I Can With What I've Got

Oh what a great day today!

The sun shone bright all day, with a high in the low 40's.

Shorty and I took a walk before he went to pre-school, and then went for another when he got home from school! As long as you aren't actually trying to get somewhere, walks with him are great. As long as you know to expect the usual dawdling, stopping at every puddle, pointing out every piece of garbage, wandering into peoples yards, wanting to check other peoples mailboxes, picking up sticks, poking me with wet sticks, you know, usual kid stuff.

He wanted to drive monster trucks in the puddles in the driveway, so I took the opportunity to clean our back porch. It is quite a big porch (to me anyway), so it took a while to sweep, and shuffle chairs and stuff around. Charlie the garage cat had been living in there before winter, so there was lots of cat hair floating about, and Shorty managed to make a disaster of his porch toys. The whole deal took about an hour, not too bad. Sat out there after I was done in a flannel shirt and played with Charlie in the sunshine. It was almost balmy.

I let Charlie out of the garage today after I fed him, as it was such a nice day, and within a half hour he had a mouse killed under the pine tree. That was his first kill as far as I know. Shorty wanted to pet the mouse that Charlie had, and I just wouldn't let him. I'm sure it would have been fine, but I just found it gross, and told him that we shouldn't ever mess with the cats mice. ewwww. Charlie thought we were a little too interested in his meal, and drug it farther under the tree so he wouldn't have to share it. I don't blame him. That was a fine looking mouse.

All in all it was a great day! However I would have been happier if we would have gotten pummeled with a good foot of snow, with wind and subzero temps, but I do what I can with what I've got.

What a day...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Good-bye Fruity Pebbles!!

I finally put my foot down. No more sugar crap cereal.

It has never been a good idea to eat that garbage in the first place, and it has came to a screeching halt. I was a little worried at first how Shorty would adapt, but I should have never worried. We have several healthy choices now:

Rice Crispies
Corn Flakes
Bran Flakes

What kind do you suppose I can't seem to keep in the cupboard? What is the latest favorite? What would appeal most to a 4 year old? Bran Flakes. You got it! This child is consuming this cereal at an alarming rate. I never would have guessed it! Good-bye Fruity Pebbles! Helllllo Bran Flakes! Yay!


We made Shorty watch the State of the Union Address with us last night. Explained to him that the president is the boss of the whole country, and that people are going to clap at him and it's going to be fun. (You just can't get too serious with a 4 year old)

So he was half-assed watching and playing Legos at the same time, and Bush made mention of malaria, and all of a sudden Shorty pipes up:

"Malaria!!....ooohh...Malaria, riiiiight."

Now that's just funny right there. That was all he pulled from the speech. I'm not sure if he started ignoring it after that, but he said nothing more about it. Damn, I'm still chuckling about it.